Monday, December 14, 2015

Philippians 4:13

When the phone call came Sunday evening, that it was time for me to keep my word and officiate Aunt Nina's service, I found myself wondering how I would be able to do that without tears, as that was also specified in her wishes . . . I knew I couldn't do it, of my own strength.  As the plans for the week unfolded, more details emerged and truth be told, I just simply knew I couldn't meet all of her wishes . . . Not that she was such a demanding woman, not at all; but she wanted laughter in her service, no crying.  That was a tall order for this squaw.  To be honest, I found myself weeping frequently that Monday, but at the same time I would speak Scripture aloud over my thoughts and into my spirit.

Tuesday, as I was preparing to head up the road, the phone began to ring.  My cousin's wife said, "NO pressure, but there will be a family viewing at 2 this afternoon."  I was a little over 3 hours away and it wasn't quite 11 . . . No pressure . . . As I was finishing my packing, the phone rang again.  This time it was the funeral director and he had not received my email with the link containing a song for the service.  I'd already packed my laptop and wifi, so . . . I asked him to give me 10 or 15 minutes and I'd resend it.  He was thinking clearly and said, "I know you have a lot on your mind.  I'll send you an email, just send the link in a reply."  That truly did make it simpler, but I still had to unpack it and fire it all back up.  Twenty minutes later, we were on the phone confirming that he'd received it and I was back to packing.  If my cousin's wife had not called, I might have missed the funeral director's call.

A dear brother had given me the best route to the nearest large town, which is where the funeral home was, so that was really going to work out well, except I managed to get lost right on the edge of that town, so, I circled twice, headed north and then realized my destination was in my rear view mirror.  With that realization, also came to mind the very clear fact, I had no phone numbers with me, at least not written.  I don't carry a cell phone, so as I turned around, once again, I prayed.  Miraculously, I ended up on the road I needed, but I had no idea of that fact until I stopped at a convenience store.  As Abba saw fit, it was quitting time and several men were in line, so I simply stood in the middle of the store and asked if anyone could direct me to the funeral home.  Far beyond a coincidence, I was less than 2 miles from the funeral home.  I'd lost a lot of time, but I was on the last stretch of the journey.

My cousin and his wife had been waiting and I apologized as we hugged, then the test of all tests.  I managed to recite both of their phone numbers from memory . . . We headed home, with plans that the entire tribe would gather later that evening to share memories and give me ideas for the service.  Friends and relatives began arriving around 6:30 and as we spoke and shared, we all knew we had barely scratched the surface of memories of that sweet woman, when her daughter and son-in-law both piped up.  "We need to head home and I think you've got enough.  She said keep it short and sweet."  All these great anecdotes and memories and it was time to consolidate 2 hours of their memories plus what I'd already jotted down, into 20 minutes to include the songs and keep it at half an hour.  Again, NO pressure, and again, Philippians 4:13.

 That night didn't quite go as planned.  At 1 am I found myself just getting into the guest room, trying to get settled, but unable to get comfortable.  I'm not used to sleeping on a bed and after a couple of hours of tossing and turning, found my way to the couch.  By this time, I knew I needed to "sleep fast."  I just melted into the couch and slept until about 6 am.  With a cup of coffee and some index cards, I planned the service, then wrote the order down for the funeral director, took a deep breath, and again spoke Philippians 4:13.

Making sure of the details with the funeral director went smoothly, but when stepping out of his office into the chapel, my confidence was shaken just a bit.  There appeared to be an ocean of strong masculine men, of course there were women, too, but all those strong men were looking a bit misty eyed.  Then I moved on toward the family section.  A group of stoic tribal folk, all clearly with tears in their eyes . . . This time my prayer was silent, but again, I repeated to myself, Philippians 4:13.

My prayer was answered.  Some of the memories I relayed actually brought some laughter, the service length was precisely thirty minutes, short and sweet.  The words at the graveside were brief, and although my voice cracked once at the end, when I mentioned how much I'd miss hearing her say, "I love you," there were no tears until the family dinner and gathering had ended.  All of her wishes were honored and our Heavenly Father gave me the strength to do one of the most difficult things I've ever been asked to do.

 I can do all things through Messiah which strengtheneth me.  Philippians 4:13

Monday, November 30, 2015

The Departure of a Matriarch

I've been amazed and oddly intrigued in the happenings of this past week.  By intrigued, I mean drawn into astute observation as the circumstances have unfolded.  I'd noticed some years ago that Americans are either too programmed or too afraid to die with dignity.  It seems most folks just cannot accept numbered days and would prefer to die in a hospital bed with monitors beeping, needles in their veins and tubes in every orifice.  On the other hand, I've also noticed, once a person seeks medical care for a single concern, it can snowball, to the point their original wishes are lost in hospital protocol and medical advice . . . resulting in monitors, needles, and tubes . . . anyway!  It seems nobody gets to die like Jacob did in Genesis, with his loved ones gathered round, listening to his final words.

Seeing so much of this and hearing about so many procedures, I chose to write my wishes, have the paper notarized, and carry it on me at all times.  I've also made the decision to not seek medical care for anything, and since making that decision, our Heavenly Father has protected me from "what's going around," healed my broken bones, and kept me running this homestead in-spite of the MS diagnosis.  I truly believe in making that firm, uncompromising decision, Adonai has blessed me beyond measure.  As I've said, I've even had broken bones that have mended without any medical care whatsoever.  The breaks were obvious, so there is no doubt of His healing power.  Now, I say all this, leading up to my real point.

Several years ago in talking, my Sweet Aunt Nina told me she'd like me to officiate her funeral service.  She said she wanted it to be a celebration of her life, etc. yata, yata.  Of course, I agreed, as she is a very upbeat encourager, and . . . there was nothing imminent in her request.  She was not yet 75 and in relatively good health.  She's had a few health issues in the past couple of years, but her voice on the phone was always upbeat, she always had something to share about her family, always had a joke or anecdote, and always we ended the conversation telling each other "I love you."  She's maintained a very special separation of information in her support system, so although she divulged some health information to each of us, we thought we were informed, but nobody had the full picture, until this past week-end.

She and I are enough alike and we've spoken enough times about it, we both knew we wanted to die with tribal dignity.  Either walk out into the timber and not come back, as our ancestors did, or home in bed with the family respecting our wishes.  She had pretty much held her kids to secrecy and kept her phone calls upbeat and now that I look back, the phone conversations maintained their frequency but had become shorter.  She spoke weekly with her brother, my Daddy, who this past weekend noticed something amiss, so he went to see her the next day.

It was just one week ago today, everyone became aware of the true state of her health and she formally announced her end of life wishes.  He called me, telling me to get in touch with her, as she told him I was to do her funeral . . . This was apparently news to everyone except me.  There had been no reason for me to say anything earlier.  She still had company so she didn't want me to call that evening.  She called me Tuesday morning shortly after 7 to go over the details.  We spoke of the practical plans and her spiritual beliefs.  She told me she was not afraid to die, then proceeded to tell me about her granddaughter's wedding, and of course a joke.  We ended the conversation with the usual, "I love you" and that was that.

By Thursday evening she was in the hospital and it was not going as she had wanted.  I prayed.  The next day, the doctor discussed her options and said he would honor her wishes.  She said, she just wanted to breathe easier and go home.  Sabbath morning, she was fully mindful of everything and everyone, agreed only to medication to keep her comfortable, removed her oxygen mask and asked everyone present to gather round her bed and sing a hymn.  They were told she probably would not last the day.  When my cousin's wife relayed this to me, I knew my cousins were doing everything they could to allow Aunt Nina to die with the dignity of Jacob.  I've continued to pray through this, and I've tried very hard for the prayers to not be selfish.  There were just two things still undone, and knowing Aunt Nina, she wasn't leaving this sod until they were done.

Her son in law left the hospital to go get the tribal blanket she'd chosen for the top of her casket, and she knew that, but she was still hanging on.  As a matter of fact, my cousin said she was talking and reminiscing in the night, clearly and quite understandably.  Sunday morning, her final wish was granted to go home.  She's going to be allowed the dignity of dying at home, with her loved ones surrounding her.  I'm truly going to miss my Sweet Aunt Nina.

I have waited for thy salvation, O YHWH . . . And he charged them, and said unto them, I am to be gathered unto my people . . . And when Jacob had made an end of commanding his sons, he gathered up his feet into the bed, and yielded up the ghost, and was gathered unto his people.  words of Jacob in Genesis 49:18, 29a, 33

She did get home and in less than 30 minutes, she saw that she was home, surrounded by her loved ones, and she passed . . .

Monday, November 16, 2015

Getting Glitchy

I was going to post this in "updates" but upon further consideration, this seems to be the better choice.  There is a day coming that will mark the end of the world as we know it, but most of us will not realize it until we are already into the new world order.  I'm not talking about the mark of the beast or the apocalypse, but smaller things that will just slip away and be gone before we realize it.  I truly do not believe the new world order will be sudden, or have a countdown announced.  Although I do believe the prophesied ugliness will become obvious, I believe the one world order will come into place, one glitch at a time.

About a month ago, I started noticing my phone was working differently, as was my internet connection.  I'm not going conspiranoid here, just making an observation, because this subject has already been addressed my many in regard to the electricity grid.  Back to the past month.  It was a Monday afternoon that I saw the light on the phone blinking indicating voice mail.  I'd been outdoors so I naturally thought I'd not heard the phone ring.  I hadn't heard the phone ring, because the phone hadn't rung that afternoon.  The voicemail was from the previous Friday.  I was home all day Friday and Sabbath and the blinking light for voice mail had not appeared.  Sunday, I was in and out, but still no blinking light on the phone.  After listening to Friday's message Monday afternoon, it occurred to me there had been no calls all weekend.  Folks that know me, know I'm a seventh day Sabbath keeper, so a weekend with no calls is not unheard of, but then it happened again a couple of weeks later in the middle of the week.

The second time it happened, again I didn't realize until the calls began coming in again.  More than one person told me they had tried to call and didn't even get my voicemail.  Also through these weeks, my computer seems to be in constant update mode and running like a three legged dog.  My wifi has also not connected, yet it's set to automatically connect when I turn on the computer.  Through that same time, I've left voicemail messages for my daughter, and she said she never heard her phone ring or saw a missed message.  Then other times, she picks right up . . .

When her phone didn't ring and no missed call or messages showed up, she said she was due for an upgrade . . . I noticed my computer began to bog down when I refused an upgrade and the new Windows operating system.  I'm using a very old wifi connection and my phone is verizon landline, so the signal comes from the tower but my phone can't leave the place.  Now, here's where I'm actually going with this "glitch theory."  No, I do not think Verizon or AT&T or Microsoft are trying to disconnect me, but I do wonder if Microsoft doesn't have "total control" in their mission statement.  My point is, if a communication signal was actually lost or as folks have posted about EMPs shutting down the grid . . . How many of us would just think it's our own personal glitch?

I'm in the middle of basically nowhere, so when there are glitches, I presume it's just a local glitch.  When offices have computer issues, everyone is sure it's just a software problem . . . When phone messages don't go through, we can't talk to anyone else to see if it's wider scale . . . I'm relatively sure the day is coming when communication will come at a greater cost than I'm willing to pay, as in a spiritual cost.  I'm guessing before we hear that blast of the shofar of Messiah's return, my method of communication may be down to smoke signals . . . providing the EPA hasn't outlawed that!

It is possible to see we could actually experience some sort of a significant problem, lose the ability to receive the information; and just think it's a little glitch in our system or need an upgrade, when the reality would be much larger scale.

If any man have an ear, let him hear.  Revelation 13:9    

Sunday, November 8, 2015

Found Money

This past week, I found myself in an unusual situation, that brought a great deal of introspection.  I stopped to make a real quick purchase at the Dollar General in the neighboring town, when I decided using the restroom might be a good idea before heading home.   You may think it sounds trivial, but any time I am in town, I'm at least 20 minutes from home, often more, with more than a few miles of nothing but rocks and bumps on dirt roads.  So, I parked my shopping cart and headed to the back.  An employee was cleaning the unisex bathroom, so I waited while she finished sweeping and tying up the trash bag before gaining access.  As I walked in, I saw a folded up bill on the floor.  Although the numbers weren't apparent, with the new "monopoly" colorization in our currency, it appeared to be a twenty.  I took a photo, then leaned over to pick it up, and to my utter shock, found more money under it!

The single bill was indeed a $20.00, and what had been under it on the floor were four more twenties folded neatly together.  Immediately, the thought occurred to me, it must have fallen out of the employee's pocket, that had just cleaned the restroom.  Meanwhile in all this excitement, the original reason I was there came to mind, so I tended to business, washed my hands, recounted the money in disbelief, grabbed my purse, and headed out the door to find the employee. Surely the money hadn't just been laying on the floor while they cleaned.  She was still in the back room, so I asked her if she'd lost any money.  She checked her pockets, pulled out a couple of dollars and said, "No."  With her cash being accounted for, she said a delivery man had used the restroom right before she had swept, so perhaps it was his.  He was still unloading, so we asked.  He said he always ran on a debit card, so it wasn't his.  He then asked me how much I'd found.  I was a bit hesitant, and simply said . . . more than $20.00.

The employee then directed me to two more employees, who both stated they had not lost any money.  So, what's a girl to do?  I went out to the "buggy" and as we pulled out of the parking lot, I informed Mr. B that he wouldn't believe what had just happened.  With that, I began telling the story.  He couldn't imagine that the employee had overlooked it on the floor, while sweeping.  I shrugged and said, perhaps I should have left my card, but then several thoughts collided in my head.  The amount of money indicated someone would clearly be missing it.  I could have left it, to see if anyone claimed it.  I could turn it into the police. To be honest, I also gave a moment's consideration that a drug deal could have gone down . . . and it wouldn't be claimed.    I could definitely call back later to see if anyone had returned looking.  I figured if the money was not claimed within 48 hours, then clearly someone in need of $100.00 would be crossing my path.

My mind was in quite a whirl there for a moment.  I've just never found $100.00 lying on the floor!  Once the course of action for the rest of the day, was determined; I gave a bit of consideration as to how I might have handled that back before following Messiah.  I'm relatively sure I'd have done the same thing in the store, as I was "relatively" honest before being born again.  I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have even considered the notion that I'd give away $100.00.  I'm also unsure as to whether I would have made a follow up phone call that evening.  I then gave thought to the employees who checked their pockets to make sure they hadn't lost just a couple of dollars.  Would I have even attempted to find the owner of a couple of dollars or even $5.00?  So many questions, and the answer boiled down, not to money, but to the value of honesty.

That evening after chores I called the store.  I was told someone had come in a few hours later, asking if anyone had found any money.  They left their name and number, and the amount that had been lost.  Sure enough, five $20s.  I told the employee who answered, it was too late for me to return before closing time that evening, but I'd bring it in the following day.

One Scripture continues to come to mind since that day.
If therefore ye have not been faithful in the unrighteous mammon, who will commit to your trust the true riches?   Luke 16:11

Sunday, October 25, 2015


A word to the wise is sufficient . . . or should be.  I know several of us are using social media to network and possibly work together as society collapses, but there are also those who are simply scoping out a place to go, when life falls in for them; where they are.  Some folks have been called to set places of refuge up, ahead of the need.  Some folks are called to be a witness, for a time, in mainstream.

What I want to address today is the possibility that so far, I haven't seen discussed.  For those who are continuing to work in a government position, say locally or even state; when the state says,  We're broke"  You'll either work here and "be kept" or you have no job."   What happens?  What will you do?  Same with health care and public education?  The reality is, eventually, the collapse will cause a collective power to rise, but what about everyone who was hanging on, hoping or just biding their time?  What will happen when we find ourselves looking for like minded folks?

I was speaking with a friend about this the other day, and at first he thought we were on the same page.  When the collapse hits, he has an idea of where to go.  My response was, if you wait until the collapse, will the individual at your presumed destination, trust your motives?  We forget how small the percentage was, of Germans who were actually loyal Nazis, yet the entire country was ruled by the few.  Neighbors couldn't trust each other . . .  The bottom line is, when it all hits the fan and the collapse is imminent or already happened, we don't know who we'll count to be trustworthy!  As mentioned previously, through these years, I've met a few folks who I knew were just scoping or casing a place to land, and of course they've been ruled out, here . . . whether or not they realize it.

What I'm addressing now, though, is different.  We've never truly faced what is prophesied, in that all of general society will be broken down and in survival mode.  Tribulation, such as the world has never known is anarchy on steroids.  Every move will be driven by survival and every human interaction will carry the potential to kill or be killed.  Trust in humanity could prove disastrous at any given moment.   Discernment will be called paranoia.  Those sounding the warning are already called conspiracy theorists.  Noah just kept working, believing what YHWH had said.  Messiah said, the end of days would be as in the days of Noah.

For those who live in a houseful of people, yet observed Holy Days alone, that may be where we find ourselves as society unravels . . . I was hoping to host a community here, but I already have a divided house, I certainly won't be inviting more of the same!  We already know the outcome of a divided house.  Torah obedience and belief in Messiah will be mandatory for everyone in the "remnant communities" that will be gathering.  Our Heavenly Father doesn't have grandkids and in-laws.  Everyone over 20 will have to stand on their own, in relationship with Messiah and covenant with YHWH.  As a mother and grandma, myself, I can tell you, I've already lied to myself about a certain situation, so I understand a mother's heart in mama bear survival mode.  Messiah had some pretty strong words about who family really is.  

I'm feeling an urgency of withdrawal and getting my house in order.  It seems much of what needs to be said, has been said.  I don't know how close we are to needing our lamps filled with oil, but I know it's a priority for me, and I won't have any to sell . . .

And at midnight there was a cry made, Behold, the bridegroom cometh; go ye out to meet him.  Matthew 25:6

Friday, October 2, 2015

Parents Prepare

I speak with a number of folks who are helping their adult children, regularly.  Every time I walk through the grocery store, I'm in sticker shock and wonder how young families are even affording life . . . My thought here is one of practicality.  For those of us that are "seeing" the collapse coming, not if but when, we really should be putting in a few safety nets.  For those who believe it's business as usual until the collapse, I would disagree.  Some say, when it hits, Abba will provide.  Well, to both of those schools of thought, I would say, I agree to a point, but . . .

We certainly are not supposed to drop out, hunker down, and wait for the collapse.  We are to "occupy" until Messiah returns and Mark clearly stated in 13:24, that he's not coming til after the tribulation, so regardless of how much life changes we are to carry on.  As for Abba providing after the collapse, of course He provides for His own.  David said the righteous don't beg, but many people are already seeking assistance or are deeply dependent in their provision, now, when things are still fairly good.  Many do not realize all this assistance is still begging, as our society has just taken the shame out of begging . . .

In the past several years a new trend across the nation emerged.  That was one of parents helping their kids through college by means of federal student loans.  Some actually sign for the loans themselves, while others help the kids obtain them through financial information and tax records.  I've been sounding the warning against that for years.  Student loans cause two things and both can be devastating.  One, student loans are debts that do not go away and can take anywhere from 10 to 30 years to pay off.  An individual shared with me some time back that she couldn't pay the loan off early.  So, basically the indebted student is an indentured servant to the government.  The second thing, and it's being proven, many indebted students come back home after graduation, unable to afford independence and student loan payments.  There appears to be a new problem arising now, as well.  That is, many students have degrees, ladened with large debt, with little to no career opportunities in the field in which they obtained their degree.

The next generation is unprepared to enter the workforce after high school, while "programmed" to incur debt seeking higher education for which there is no job . . .  I'm not the only one beating this drum.  John Lawrence wrote a very insightful article on the subject.  Below are a couple of paragraphs in his article.

>>>Despite the fact that Microsoft founder Bill Gates is a college dropout, Apple’s founder Steve Jobs was a college dropout and Facebook’s founder Mark Zuckerberg is a college dropout (all became billionaires by the way), Americans have been sold a bill of goods that a college degree is necessary for the good life.

This hasn’t panned out for Serena Whitecotton, however. Since graduating last May with a grade-point average of 3.5, experience working at her school newspaper and a degree in communications from California State University at Fullerton, Whitecotton said she has applied for more than 400 journalism and public relations jobs. For her efforts, she has been granted 10 interviews that haven’t led to a single job offer. She still lives at home and has been unable to find work since her internship ended in November.
America has set up a class system whereby you are a second class citizen if you don’t graduate from college. Increasingly though the reality is that there is not much of a connection between a college degree and finding a good job, and American high schools are not preparing high school graduates for entering the work force directly after high school.<<<
A friend of mine, several years ago, was always "going to come down and be a part of this."  It was always just one more "something," and then she'd be ready to come on board.  As she was supposedly tying up loose ends, her child just had to go to a very expensive college because that's where her boyfriend was attending.  Suffice it to say, there was a break-up, an illness, no college graduation, but the debt of student loans, stands.

For those who are assisting their adult children, I would encourage you to be sure to establish your own place for them to return . . . or consider networking with others in the same situation.  For those who know the collapse is imminent, we can't count on the preparedness of others, we must be prepared.

Then Y'hshuwah said unto them, My time is not yet come: but your time is alway ready.  John 7:6

Monday, September 14, 2015

Family, Real Family

For those who have not already sorted through this, we are about to discover the difference between legal, biological, and spiritual family.  In these last days, it will be our spiritual family that we will count on and will need to be able to count on us.  I'm truly hoping to be able to assist many people through this coming time of difficulty, but when choices must be made, it will be spiritual family first.  I'm being honest about my stand before the difficulties begin.  I'll also add this.  I pray that those to whom we are related in the natural will see the truth.

The simple fact of the matter is, the line in the sand is widening . . . to the point of a chasm in some issues, and natural families are divided on the issues.  Actually, the spiritual family is still pretty divided on a number of issues as well, but that will change.  As the persecution intensifies, the common enemy will more than likely cause us to need to unite.  The minor differences will pale in comparison to the all out persecution we will be facing.   Sadly, Messiah stated natural families will actually become enemies toward the remnant.  This is where some of us have had to seriously evaluate life.

Not all of our natural family are enemies, but biological and/or legal relationships are simply not always connected spiritually.  "If you're not for us you're against us" feeds the "enemy" mentality, and sadly that is the place to which our society has arrived and defined to be "proper."  In my case, if anyone is willing to choose a political candidate and seek mainstream medical advice, we are not on the "same page;" which is usually interpreted to be opposing.  Some folks are confrontational about it, while with others; we simply agree to disagree and hopefully focus on other matters.

I would do anything I could for my physical family, except . . . compromise my call of service to YHWH.  There are three reasons for that.  One, I don't want to lose my salvation . . . Two, if I lose the blessing of the covenant, I have nothing to offer anyone, anyway . . . and Three, I already tried it once, hoping to come to an understanding.  Here is the understanding to which I have now arrived.  When someone comes here demanding compromise, that really means concession on my part, so NO, the answer is simply, I shall not be moved.  I do not have the ability or capability to provide salvation for anyone, only to introduce them to the One Who saves.  YHWH does not have friends of friends, in-laws, or grandchildren.  He has children . . .  We must each have our own relationship with our Creator through His Son.

As these end of days continue to unfold, obedient Bible believers will be called extremists.  With a global economy on the rise and Agenda 2030 being rolled out, life is likely to become quite difficult on the remnant.

I pray for them: I pray not for the world, but for them which thou hast given me; for they are thine. . . And now I am no more in the world, but these are in the world, and I come to thee. Holy Father, keep through thine own name those whom thou hast given me, that they may be one, as we are.  words of Messiah in John 17:9, 11

Sunday, September 6, 2015

Farmed Out

Spiritual readiness, to me, also includes a manifestation of faith in the natural.  There are many theories and teachings about this, and the level of preparedness covers quite a gambit of what is preparation, what is lack of faith, and what is head in the sand, and what is just over the top and fringy.  I believe spiritual preparedness is the number one priority, and by that I mean not lagging behind or getting ahead of Abba, but staying in His presence and praying without ceasing.  In seeking Him, I've been led to do some practical preparation, as well.  Some have called that lack of faith, some believe I haven't done enough.  I like to think I've struck a balance, but then, don't we all . . .

When I heard Abba tell me, in the spring of last year to prepare practically for the purpose, I took it quite seriously.  Some of the preparation seemed still a bit of trial and error, while other efforts have landed smoothly in place.  I've had a bit of trouble with practicality and goats, as I pretty much like them all, but I have done some maturing in this area in the past year . . .  I bought one, a beautiful Oberhasli doe with a great udder.  She led beautifully, jumped up on the stanchion and kicked and stomped for nearly a month.  It usually takes three days to "break" a milk goat that has never seen a stanchion.  My pride wanted to win this one, but she was taking valuable time and eating organic grain, only to have milk slung around the milking parlor . . . I wasn't about to try to sell her as a milk goat, nor was I going to waste any more energy and expense.  She went to the auction, ran through the ring, displaying her "high spirited self" and glory to YHWH, still brought more than I paid for her.  I've broke two goats this year, and they've done beautifully, still are, as a matter of fact.

Thursday morning, I loaded another big doe that I'd also had on the stanchion and milked, but she was too aggressive with some of the rest of the herd, so she also had to go.  She was beautiful!

Loading her was no simple task . . .  Her horns were as wide as the pen gate and I'm still not sure what she weighed.  In taking her to the auction, I decided to check out what might be for sale that evening.  I purchased the biggest most amazing Oberhasli buck, after buying a couple of young does.  The young does should milk train nicely next spring, and Big Leroy is docile.  Considering the fact, it is breeding season, he is very well behaved.  From a practical perspective, YHWH willing; all of next year's kids will be half Oberhasli, a very good dairy breed.

Having run into some friends who also "unexpectedly" bought a goat, knowing I would now be making a second trip back to bring home the buck, I offered to pick their purchase up as well.  Between night highway construction, hooking up the trailer in the dark, and making it "big buck tight," it proved to be a pretty long night.  I got the two young does unloaded and did the milking before heading back to the auction.  Got loaded out with my big buck who was positively enamoured with my friend's doe.  Hit the road heading for the OK line about 10pm with the trailer rocking all the way . . . By the time we got the doe unloaded and headed toward Goshen it was after 11.  Leroy was unloaded and chores completed a little after midnight.

As I gathered some leftovers together for Mr. B's dinner and poured a glass of red wine, I contemplated the day. A brood of chicks in a tub in the guest room, one goat loaded out early that morning, a stop at my computer guy's so I can "work from home," three new goats, with a fourth delivery, milking at dusk, chores at midnight. It was official, 1:15 am Friday morning, I was officially "farmed out!"    

Friday sunrise, was a new morning!  There's something about, even an exhausting day on the farm.  I could get up the next morning and see the evidence of all the hard work and long hours!  Ready to hit the ground running on Preparation Day, I was no longer "farmed out."

It is of YHWH's mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not.  They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.  YHWH is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in Him.   Lamentations 3:22-24

Sunday, August 30, 2015

The Fact of the Matter

We can clearly see some horrific world events are taking place, while we are also primarily accepting that some things are just not being covered.  What is becoming strangely clear, are the number of these events that are taking place while those of any distance at all, seem to just keep going, business as usual.  Believe me when I say, I don't have a bunker and I'm not dropping out any time soon, although I've already been accused of that for a few years now.  As many of us continue to sound the warning, I'm seeing a general malaise or even rejection of the warning.  The day is coming and may already be here in which those with discernment are simply referred to as conspiracy nuts, or worse, become institutionalized.

The economy did not recover, it was propped up.  Now that the Supreme Court has determined they have the right to overrule the Bible, without repentance; judgment is coming.  The fact that we all now know what's going on at Planned Parenthood, without serious change and boycotting, the blood is on all our hands.  Let me qualify that statement with this.   We will probably not be held accountable for what was done in ignorance, such as the patronizing companies that supported PP or for those who have benefited from the medical research, BUT we are no longer ignorant!  There is no more excuse.  I've heard the outrage from many who do not even have computers, and the videos have been viral across social media.  We have no choice but to take personal responsibility that we do not benefit in any way by the fetal tissue; or that blood is on our hands.  No Excuses, come judgment day.

Foreclosures have continued to take place, and businesses are shuttering.  The square in a nearby town looks almost ghostly and historic as the many old buildings, refurbished by the DREAM Initiative surround the county courthouse, still empty.   Yet, people say, we don't want to hear "gloom and doom."  How about just the simple truth?  Every time I leave the place I see at least one new "for sale" sign in front of a shuttered independent business.  It seems the primary new businesses are in health care.  America is no longer cycling, but spiraling downward and if the bad news is kept somewhat scattered, perhaps a few can keep living like it's business as usual.  As the standard continues to drop, we just keep accepting less and less while putting up with more and more.  Sooner or later, this mandated "tolerance" concept is going to snap!  That may be the gloom and doom scenario I should be warning about.  Eventually those espousing tolerance will be forcibly and aggressively, intolerant, and that could be even more frightening than all the religious nuts they are warning everyone about.  Now that a person of integrity who lives by their convictions has been labeled unacceptable to society, with very negative adjectives, the "tolerance nazis" will have to find new targets.

The simple fact of the matter is, judgment is coming and some of us are called to sound the warning and share the solution.  I firmly believe there will be more man made temporary solutions, but I'm suggesting we not "buy" into them.  They are temporary and tend to come at a cost we cannot really afford, spiritually.  There is only one answer; and that is REPENT!

From that time Y'hshuwah began to preach, and to say, Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.  Matthew 4:17

Thursday, August 20, 2015

An Abraham Experience?

Back when I first came up to this unimproved land, I knew I'd been brought here by the hand of El Shaddai.  Through a phone conversation, I told a friend that although I wasn't sure of the day, I "had a Moses moment" in that I'd been led up the mountain, where I'd die.  It didn't seem ominous and I certainly had no fear, as I knew that I knew I'd been brought to this place, but I also knew it really didn't belong to me.  Several times this week, the passage about giving up land to follow Messiah has crossed my mind.

Here, I truly thought I was going to establish this place, work it, build it up, and then just make keys and share it.  I'd even entertained the possibility of a small cabin in the back timber for me to be the "mountain medicine missionary" and envisioned other members of the ministry living in the house.  I really did come here ready to pay for it, work it, and give it all up to follow Messiah for the glory of YHWH.

Suddenly I heard something I'd not realized.  He said, I'm too open with my invitations and folks feel they can just "get around" to Goshen when it's convenient.  People take serving G-d very lightly in our society.  We have all sorts of "obligations" that really amount to nothing more than excuses when it comes to 100% sold out dedication to Him.  So, that caused me, some serious fear of YHWH.  I never meant to make anything seem casual.  He then proceeded to remind me that I was not reaching out in the Spirit, but in the flesh, specifically, regret.  I didn't want to hinder the zeal of another, as I'd experienced, but that's not my call to make.  Okay, then there was more!  Abraham did not take any of his "men" with him when he and Isaac headed up that mountain.  We aren't told specifically how many traveled with Abraham and Isaac, but there was a place in which they stopped and did not ascend that mountain.

Knowing, I've already heard two other things that relate to Abraham, and had a couple of interactions based on passages in those same chapters of Genesis, I took heed.  This is no time to miss or think "close" is good enough.  The five fold ministry is going to be truly operational in many places, but the folks I'll be working with are already in this area.  The ones who we thought might relocate are going to be working, either where they already are, or in other locations.  Abba is not importing the five fold ministry to this Goshen from long distances.  He's blessing us to get acquainted through social media to encourage each other where we already are.  A great many of us have land, wells, and no mortgages.  We just need to be in agreement in seeking Abba as we prepare, and be blessed with the fellowship of encouraging each other.  Some stockpiling is fine to be able to help others, but stockpiling is not the answer.  Ministering and reaching needs will be our purpose through these very trying times.

Once this socially awkward, self-conscious, introvert came to the place of putting all that on the altar, He said "stop, I'll take you to the community."  YHWH Yireh is our Provider, but we need to be vessels worthy of holding his provision, and trusting enough to allow Him to pour it through us . . . and willing to stop in what we think is the plan and allow Him to allow us to keep what He's given us.

And Abraham called the name of that place YHWH Yireh: as it is said to this day, In the mount of YHWH it shall be seen.  Torah of Holy Scripture

And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.  ~  words of Messiah

Thursday, August 13, 2015

The Acceptance of Rejection

It's okay to say, "I'm sorry I failed to meet your expectations, but I've done my best," and then politely decline the next opportunity "extended" to possibly make the grade.  We simply cannot please everyone, and we are not expected to do so.  Even Messiah, who was perfect, didn't please everyone, but he did say we needed to give them two chances.  What made Messiah perfect, was; he pleased The Father.  Sometimes pleasing The Father causes rejection in our circle of influence.  Messiah said our enemies would be of our own household, so . . . we really have to stop trying to meet the expectations of others and truly seek to please Abba.

I've had several challenges through the years of folks wanting to be a part of what I'm doing, but their very first effort of participation is to change me.  As it turns out, I definitely had room for improvement, still do, but one of the biggest improvements I've made is to recognize their effort to change me would change what I'm doing.  There is no need to change the purpose to make improvements.  I've learned several hard lessons about trying to please a critic who really will never be satisfied and it's such a relief to realize that before I expend useless effort and energy, to result only in exhausted rejection!  Not everybody is thrilled with me or my abilities, and that's okay.

Then there is also the factor that some folks are just takers and the minute you are not a giver, the interaction changes.  When the interaction changes, that doesn't mean the giver has done something wrong, although that is the way the blame will lay.  All that really happens is the relationship is exposed for what it truly is.  If the giver refuses to comply with the demand, the taker, more than likely will take their demands elsewhere feigning victimhood.  When that happens, the rejection may hurt for a time, but the day will come when relief just washes over like a refreshing spring rain.

Once we come to the point of acceptance of another's rejection of us, there truly is a freedom.  I'm not, for a moment, suggesting we are to be rude and unkind, but rather this is for those who really are trying to make peace or appease others who simply will not be pleased.  As the remnant looks toward community, we need to know there will be folks who are easier to get along with than others, and folks who get more accomplished than others.  Then there will be those who are not so easy to get along with and don't get as much done, but seem to require a great deal of attention and have a plethora of ideas for others to implement.  To put it simply, those folks are not community material!  My particular MO is, I'm friendly, don't need much attention, and willing to give 100% effort, but I do need my space.  I can work and play well with others, if I get time to work alone.  Community is going to require team players who encourage and respect each other.

We should always let our Heavenly Father lead us in stretching beyond ourselves, rather than our critics.
Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.  ~ words of Messiah

Friday, August 7, 2015

Thoughts on Preparedness

A friend and I have discussed almost repetitively the need for spiritual preparation.  It matters not how much food is stored or ammunition is purchased, we will not be maintained through the coming hard times without "oil in our lamps."  What are we doing to spiritually prepare?  How dependent upon the system are we still?  Through the coming tribulation and sadly well deserved judgment, the only place of refuge is in the shelter of The Almighty!

I'm not completely out of Babylon or Egypt yet.  I still have a bank account and a driver's license.  I still file income taxes, but I don't take any of the offered credits . . . I'm still not fully off grid and obviously, I'm connected to the world wide web.   I do know of some who have made the decisions to opt out some time ago.  There is a day coming in which some of this will just be gone without my decision.  It's completely possible that bank accounts can just disappear, and certainly the US currency is clearly losing it's value.  I am blessed to have land, a roof over my head, herds, flocks, an orchard, a garden spot, and a well.  Even though there is no mortgage on the place, I'm not sure how life will actually play out when the US debt note gets called in.

I've been thinking of the various attributes of our Creator.  YHWH Nissi, The Existing One is our banner. YHWH Shalom, The Existing One is peace.  YHWH Yireh, The Existing One sees and provides.  YHWH Raphah, The Existing One heals.  This is what I've been considering.  I post a different service weekly that addresses our Heavenly Father's great attributes, but do we really rely on Him, or do we have our own solutions with our lip service?  There is a day coming, in which lip service will not be enough.  I've heard the mantra about "manna" until I just want to scream.  Our Heavenly Father can certainly provide manna, there is documented proof that He has, but most of those same people are still living their lives as they have been for years, while "sounding the warning" to the rest of us.  If we are blessed to have been shown that hard times are coming, shouldn't we be preparing to be of service to Him through those times?

When money won't buy food, or there is no food to be bought, non-believers are going to be hungry, too, and there's no record that manna fell in Egypt.  Isaiah 1:19 tells us obedience is tied to being satisfied.  What happens when health care comes at the cost of our soul?  Seriously, we can make all sorts of grand claims, but when it comes down to "suffering in faith" or seeking the wisdom of man, what do we do?  I've given great thought to this next statement.  Even outside of mainstream health care, we can have all the natural health formulas we can pick and make, but without our Healer . . . we're not healed.  Exodus 15:26 tells us how to stay healthy.

There are many folks saying they trust Abba, and planning to hold Him to His end of the covenant, but are we upholding our end?  I'm not talking about salvation or eternity.  We've been given Instructions for our life on this earth.  Are we truly ready to abandon all of our conveniences and so called necessities to move into the shelter of The Almighty?  Are we really ready?

He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of The Almighty.  I will say of YHWH, He is my refuge and my fortress: my Elohim; in Him will I trust.  Psalm 91:1-2

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Hidden in the NDAA

As most of you know, this particular section is usually dedicated to a current topic in the Land of Goshen, but this week, I felt led to share this link.

Thursday, July 23, 2015


Actually, I'm not going anywhere at this time, but others will be coming.   Once I wrote last week's article announcing there would be no "formal sukkot" gathering, something changed.  I then was awakened Sunday morning to hear, "Prepare for the Five Fold Ministry that is to come."  I've prayed for this gathering for years, long before I was even homesteading.  Oh, how I longed to be a part of the ministry team listed in Ephesians 4:11.  It has truly been a desire of my heart for nearly 20 years.  There have been a few times I just about jumped the gun and tried to do it in the flesh, but that was in the early years.  Abba has given me time to do some much needed maturing.

Recently, having witnessed the attempt to do G-d's work in the flesh, I cringe at the number of times I've done the same thing.  I still have a tendency to jump in, although not as often; but when I realize what I've done, I don't try to spiritualize it or rationalize it, I stop and go back to where I jumped.  Jumping in, in the flesh, means jumping out of the actual plan.  Paul said it well in Galatians 5:17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.  Many folks use this particular book, Galatians, in an attempt to disregard Torah, but the reality is, this book addresses putting on an outward appearance for admiration and recognition, or even sadder yet, addresses the attempt to imitate the presence of the Holy Spirit in one's life.  Having begun this covenant walk asking for discernment, with confession for why I needed it, Abba gracious gave me that spiritual gift, but not in it's fullness.  I couldn't have handled that!   As things are intensifying in this world, I've noticed they are amongst the religious as well.

So here's the deal for those of the five fold ministry who would gather here.  The work has already been established and is currently underway.  I'm not one who appreciates the cliche "We have to walk the walk and talk the talk."  I'm a woman of fewer words.  I say, "We have to walk our talk."  So, it's time to really start heading toward Abba's full provision of promise.  He says He provides and He does.  I don't go out and collect manna every morning, but I do harvest from a garden, except through Shemitah.  The wild greens and berries have been abundant this year.  I go out every morning to tend to chickens, calves, and goats, and every evening I bring in eggs and milk.  Although the beef is only harvested annually, it provides until the next fatted calf is processed.  I vacillate on how I handle processing chicken.  For fried, it needs to be young, but baked or stewed, I can leave it "on the hoof" and available year round.  Do I believe manna could fall?  Absolutely, I saw it one morning, the first autumn of the starter homestead.  I received it as confirmation, not presumption!  I saw it only once.

The next biggie for this 5 fold ministry is health care.  No compromise with the system!  If we don't receive a miracle and can't find a natural solution, it's time to get ready to meet our Maker.  The health care system will very definitely be a strong arm of power as the New World Order takes shape.  Check Germany's history in the late 20s and 30s.  Much of the government control began with disease control . . .  This will be one of the most powerful means of outreach to the remnant.  There is much to be received and taught from Scripture regarding our physical health and this will be a vital part of the ministry of this "Goshen."

Teaching the truth of Torah and Moshiach is truly the fulfillment of the Great Commission.  We are to teach all nations, baptize, and the topic of the teaching is to observe the commandments, to follow Messiah.  The original Greek term for "observe" is [tereo] meaning to guard and keep!  I noticed and appreciate how similar this term is to the Hebrew term Torah.  We learn something new every day!   I am commissioned to share the fullness of "tereo Torah."  As we prepare for this ministry, those who will gather are already in my prayers, as well as those who will gather elsewhere in this same ministry.  The Revelation 14:12b gives us a powerful definition of what it is to be a saint.

. . . saints: here are they that keep the commandments of YHWH, and the faith of Y'hshuwah.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Getting in Gear

I've seriously thought of making an official announcement that there would be no "formal Sukkot gathering" and I'm still leaning that way.  I am thinking I'd rather spend my time, energy, and what funds I have toward true preparedness and longer term necessities for the days of Noah, rather than amenities, entertainment, and conveniences for a weeklong gathering.  I'm looking more into the long term investments and necessities for down the road.  It seems to me at this point, a few more batteries in the off-grid bank would be beneficial.

An opportunity has arisen that is taking quite a bit of my energy and I absolutely know that is energy well spent.  A door has opened to work with area youth and a church.  I have seen, without a shadow of a doubt, our youth are crying for some stability.  If they can't find it at home, they look for it at school, and peers.  School has derailed and most of their peers are searching too.  A group of young people searching are going to find something, often that "something" is not good . . . Many are seeking spiritual answers and/or a place to belong.  If they don't find it at church, they'll look in a mosque.  I've come to realize the "sinner's prayer" didn't offer any hope; and salvation without repentance amounts to nothing.  I've taken a serious look at why so many young people who were raised in progressive Judaism and compromising Christianity abandon those for atheism, new ageism, or other religions.  People need something real and when Judaism became politically progressive and Christianity compromised calling itself relevant, they both lost the part of Biblical truth they held.  

There are many young men in prison who are converting to Islam while their Christian grandmas are praying.  Why is this happening?  A great many of the boomers just walked away from church and synagogue, but sadly raised children with minimal spiritual influence and little stability.  Often the truth is rejected because it had been mixed with so much compromise and political correctness.  Many cannot separate the truth from the counterfeit wrapping and so when they recognize the counterfeit, simply dismiss the entire package.

I've grown weary with the religious debates of social media.  I'm not sure our Creator really cares what shade of blue is used in tzitzit, but I do know there are no instructions as to special knots or tying.  I've grown weary with so much internet teaching on extraneous topics when I simply want to follow Messiah and be used by Him as the early apostles were.  Internet teaching is a lot like televangelism of the 90s.  Some of it's entertaining, but most of it is just filling time and space, and the opportunity to express one's own views.    I was truly blessed last Sunday to hear a fiery sermon from the book of Judges.  With that wonderful sermon, I was blessed to minister both before and after.  Wow!  Encouraged, fed, filled, and the opportunity to share as well, and all of it by simply being prayed up and where I was led to be.

I'm believing Sukkot could be the same way this year.  I'm certainly not disinviting anyone, nor would I turn anyone away who is seeking to celebrate the Feast Days of YHWH, but I'm not doing any extras beyond Scripture.  I'm not an activities director, so there will be no activities program.  I'll share what I have and that's enough.  Since the shemitah year will have ended, I'll be sowing the winter wheat field as Sukkot comes to an end.  Preparing for long term needs seems more urgent this year than planning an event.

Since beginning this article I have made my decision.  This is the official announcement that there will be no formal Sukkot gathering this fall.  Folks are still welcome to visit, even consider "communitying up" but there is just too much going on to even consider major expenditures for a short term event.

And on the fifteenth day of the seventh month ye shall have an holy convocation; ye shall do no servile work, and ye shall keep a feast unto YHWH seven days:  Numbers 29:12

Thursday, July 9, 2015

A Dream

I had a dream the other night, that I believe had spiritual significance.  It was busy, to the point of chaotic, yet held a constant.  Everything I was doing and every place I was going, seemed to be detaining me from my actual priority.  Needless to say, I awoke with a start!  The apparent purpose throughout the entire dream was to attend a funteral to give a eulogy that evening, but I had to "get there" and that was beyond difficult.

Upon my agreement to this task, I was then told the location had been changed, but they couldn't tell me where it would be held.  I suddenly realized I was unsure how to accomplish the task to which I'd agreed.  I didn't know where the service was.  I didn't know how to get there, as my location seemed unfamiliar, and I was on foot with a walking stick.  The only thing familiar in the dream was my walking stick. Throughout the entire dream, I was in different scenarios asking people where the funeral was to be held.  Many had no idea what to tell me, while others seemed to send me on a what seemed like wild goose chases.  At one point, a hearse came into view and I thought I'd found the location, but it was still distant and I was unable to access a direct route.

Through this dream, I found myself at some sort of long term care facility asking directions, more than one restaurant, a gas station, a convenience store; all to no avail.  I also clearly remember walking by casinos, which are in abundance in my area; but not entering to ask directions.  The search was scenic at times, and at other times grueling.  Thankfully, the weather was decent throughout my dream, even pleasant.

As the sun was moving across the southern sky, I found myself still wandering.  In my mind, I knew I still had chores to do at evening and get cleaned up before the service.  I had to find the funeral home and then get to Goshen in time to get my work done and get back to the funeral home.  The thought also entered my mind that perhaps I could just get cleaned up at the funeral home and do chores after the funeral.  Seriously, this dream was both chaotic and frustrating, but strangely never hopeless.

Whether this ends right or wrong for those reading, I awoke without arriving at my destination.  I truly believe the chaos was just too much to sleep through, and my own voice asking directions, awakened me.  I was talking in my sleep.  Immediately though, I was aware that although I have died to self and continue to do so, I had to die to a long held tradition.  Holding to this tradition became a stronghold that was actually keeping me busy and distracted, rather than focused and directed.  It was later confirmed that I absolutely had to let go of this bondage of tradition which is revered in our society.

In dying to self, there was an area in my life in which I was surrendering to religious tradition rather than my King.  I'm sharing this, because there may be others clinging to a similar seemingly good tradition that is, in reality, a bondage.

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? . . . Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith EL Shaddai.  II Corinthians 6:14, 18-19

Wednesday, July 1, 2015


I'm still seeing a great many people discussing spiritual preparedness separately from physical preparedness.  Yes there are obvious differences, but I'm seeing an unnecessary disconnect, as well.  Storing food and hoarding bullets without the protection of YHWH will obviously not be enough.  Eventually, food runs out and one of two things happens with bullets.  Either you use them all up, which sounds horrendous, or when the food is gone, you realize you can't eat them.  Same with those who are cashing in currency for gold.   Some precious metals is not a bad idea, but when the time comes that there's no buying and selling without the mark, precious metals won't help.  I do think they'll be good for paying taxes, for awhile; but that's about it.  Let's get to the heart of the matter, on this, though.

So many of us say the words, "what begins in the spiritual will be made manifest in the natural!"  I believe that.  The condition of our nation is an obvious testament to that fact, albeit; a negative one.  For those of us who are preparing, I'd like to think I'm preparing in the proper order.  First, spiritually, but in that spiritual preparation, I do feel led to make it manifest in the natural, and believe for Abba's protection and provision.  I'm not one to just sit on my "blessed assurance" and expect manna.  Y'hshuwah didn't say the end of days would be as in the days of Moses, He said the days of Noah, and Noah had a great deal of preparing to do, besides being "prayed up!"

 I'm working the land, well it's resting this year, but I was led to the wilderness to be prepared and to prepare, and Abba has since given me more instruction.  Spiritual preparedness is to be made manifest in the natural.  As James put it, "faith without works is dead."  As our world continues to degenerate, life will become more difficult.  I'm at the point of understanding a few more things.  I've always tended to be a doormat kind of individual and Abba told me in no uncertain terms, "He's had enough of that!"  Meekness is not weakness.  Folks who have had good jobs, good opportunities, and still cried poor mouth and victim, are not the ones to be taken care of, in the coming problems.  It's widows and orphans, and those who have been seeking.

I'm not saying manna won't fall, but I am saying for those who are planning on provision falling from the sky, I'm not raising any of that here!  The words and faith of the prophets and apostles were manifest in the natural and it's time the people of YHWH expected that same thing now!  Abba has blessed me with wonderful land that produces good food, continually in season, if I work it.  He has blessed me with pasture for the herds and flocks, but called me to care for them.  I haven't bought milk or eggs in a decade!  The branches of the blackberry bushes are literally, weighted down with ripening fruit.  Abba does provide, but I have to pick them!

I have discovered what we know Adam and Eve experienced, and Scripture indicates Noah and Abraham did as well.  Adam and Eve were created in the Garden of Eden.  Noah was a farmer, and Abraham had flocks and herds.  Through times of gardening, farming, and tending the herds and flocks, is a great time to hear the Voice of our Creator and receive the instructions of preparation.

And Elohim said unto Noah, The end of all flesh is come before me; for the earth is filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will destroy them with the earth . . .
And take thou unto thee of all food that is eaten, and thou shalt gather it to thee; and it shall be for food for thee, and for them.  Thus did Noah; according to all that Elohim commanded him, so did he.  Genesis 6:13, 21-22

Thursday, June 25, 2015

More on the Gathering

As life as we know it appears to be falling apart, I believe for those who are in covenant with Elohim, life is falling into place.  I still don't have the covenant agreement form drawn up, but as I post here it will give folks an idea of what to expect as well as insight to offer.  Until there is no buying or selling without the mark, it would appear that at least part time employment or external income would be needed for all residents.  Ten acres is big enough to sustain a dozen people for food and accommodate that much shelter, but we all will need our own time, space, and spending money.

I'm more than happy to share what I have, but here's three facts of life.  One:  Electricity isn't mine to share, it belongs to the power company, and they want money for power.  Two:  The internet service provider doesn't provide without sending a bill, but the good thing is, it will support 5 devices of technology simultaneously. and Three: Which is the most important, if I don't see you either in the garden or the chicken house or the pasture, I don't want to see you at the table.  We will all have to pitch in on the sustainability projects.

Perhaps I'm a bit too idealistic in this thought, but I truly do envision plenty of time for midrash, music, and fellowship with a shared workload.  Truth be told, I've had great times with visitors while working, but we all need our alone time with Abba and our own thoughts . . . at least I do.  Without quiet time with Adonai, I'm not fit for polite society, and although I don't term myself a loner, I do need my space.  I wrote in Peculiar Princess as to how I was assessing a better use of energy with better choices and one of those choices is fewer words flying out of my mouth.

I truly appreciate the written word over the spoken word, even though inflection is not always understood, idle words are more easily avoided when writing.  I've had numerous discussions with people via instant message in which they state that emotional expression is lacking and would prefer phone conversation.  I don't do that very often for the simple fact, I truly do prefer writing, and tend to be a bit reserved in my emotional expression.  Before becoming a believer and receiving my healing, I spent way too much time on the phone.  Lengthy phone calls tend to bring back old memories that are not so pleasant for me, but I'm willing to be penpals and message buddy with most everyone.  Yet I digress, back to the gathering.

I think it's going to be very important that we each maintain a certain degree of autonomy.  Without individual independence, it would make everything mine and everyone a guest and that simply would not work.  What's here is already owned, the tax man insists upon a name when the bill is sent every October, and that won't change.  Everyone who joins this gathering will be responsible for their own personal property and the taxation thereof.  I don't plan to build any permanent structures for housing, but will be happy to welcome those with RVs, TTs, 5W, tiny houses, and tents.

Although it will be necessary that electricity and internet service bills be shared, I pray many meals and spontaneous fellowship will be as well.  I've assumed this goes without saying, but perhaps it should be said.  This will be a community of Torah observant followers of Messiah.  I know there will be some differences in understanding, but the basic beliefs should be the same.

. . . they were all with one accord in one place.  Acts 2:1b

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Good Enough?

As I've been preparing for a community, I've had a gnawing doubt in the back of my mind.  YHWH has brought me a long way in the area of confidence, but He had a very long way to bring me.  I'm certainly not the woman I was when I found Him, but I'm still not the woman I want to be for Him.

I've hosted a couple of Sukkot gatherings and to be honest, I felt like the visitors were disappointed.  I'm a hard working woman who is willing to share most everything I have, but I'm not an entertainer and most everything I have is not state of the art trendy.  I love YHWH, I love Messiah, and I love people or at least try to love people.  I enjoy corporate worship, casual fellowship, and work.  Much of the work I do really doesn't feel like work, so I don't usually feel like I need much of a break.  My work is rarely stressful, although some of the things going on in which I feel led to sound a warning or intercede are not good things, I don't get caught up in stress or fear.  We are told to cast our cares upon Him for He cares for us.  Scripture tells me to be anxious for nothing, and I can do that in so many areas, but . . . I think I have been overly concerned, even anxious that others would find my life just not good enough.

So, as the end of days are unfolding and Operation Jade Helm 15 is going into place, while millions of chicken deaths will hinder the food supply, for those who may be considering relocation; let me give a little of the lowdown about myself and the Land of Goshen.  I came here expecting to have a small community gather.  First there is no television and no cable, and it is non-negotiable.  I had one child already try.  Believe me if I can tell the mother of my grandchildren, "No," I can say "NO" to anyone.  The current internet connection limits data to 20GM a month.  AT&T doesn't provide service in this "remote" area.   Depending upon which pasture is being grazed and if a gate is open, it takes 15-20 minutes to get to a blacktop road from my house.  Once on the blacktop, town is then 5 miles to the north west or another one is 10 miles east.

The illustration on the mainpage is fairly accurate, but the illustration is pristine considering those animated goats do not make any mess or cause any mischief like the real ones do.  Also to be considered is the grass, which is not always manicured in real time, like it is in the illustration.  The inside of the chicken houses cannot be seen in the webpage, but I assure you, chickens are complete and total slobs!  Now, on to the actual living conditions for humans.

I live in a manufactured home that has two additions a porch and two decks, plus there is an RV, and Berea Tabernacle, which is completely off grid.  My home is four bedroom, two full baths, good sized living room and kitchen with a laundry room /pantry and a bonus room.  I just spoke with the men who will be replacing the front deck and it is about to become doubled in size for gatherings and fellowship.   The back porch and deck are more suited for functionality than relaxation, as that is where the grill and soap shed are, but it affords enough room for chairs to provide for a small gathering.  There are other out buildings, and even an emergency outhouse with no roof, for when I'm on an outdoor project and don't want to take the time to remove shoes, etc.

I'm posting all this info because I really do believe folks are giving consideration to relocation and preparing to be a part of a community.  Several friends and I have already discussed the concept that there would be many of these "Goshens."  One friend also mentioned the value and viability of small communities and so I'll close with this.  I am a simple earthy woman who loves YHWH, follows Messiah and is happy to share what I have.  I am also happy to wish someone well when my lifestyle is not as appealing as one would hope.  I do sport an internet connection, that although the data is limited, it will support five computers.  Seems fitting for a five fold ministry.

And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers;  For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Messiah:  Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of Elohim, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Messiah:  That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;  But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Messiah:  Ephesians 4:12-15

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Mission Accomplished

I look at every single introduction and meeting as a potential open door and I tend to sometimes try to hard or stay too long!  Sometimes I miss the reality that a door is only for a one time event and is supposed to close when the mission has been accomplished.  I didn't realize until early this morning, a door has closed, that was supposed to close before the preservation moved forward.

A dear friend who passed away had wanted several of her friends and acquaintances to visit and experience the Land of Goshen.  I couldn't convince her that not everyone would be so taken in enthusiasm as she was about this endeavor, and in her last days I told her I would make sure her wish was carried out.  It was obvious right away that some of her Christian friends were not interested at all, so the door closing wasn't even really noticeable.  It didn't seem as though some of the first ones were seeking anything.  Rather, it was more of just gaining an experience and they were moving on to the next experience.

Then of course, there was my friend's family who wanted to bring her ashes to the Land of Goshen, but that wasn't really a time of seeking, either, just a time of gathering for a specific purpose.  The last two visits were different, though; as both sets of visitors already have land and were just touching base for ideas.   The first of the last visitors actually shared with me that they were at a crossroads of creating a working homestead or selling and moving back to town.  I really enjoy seeing photos of the couple's farm and since visiting here.  They have done a lot in a short time and they've acquired some livestock as well.   There was still one person on my friend's list and although many plans have been made through the years, they never came to fruition, until . . . a couple of weeks ago.

When this all began, every time someone visited I was hopeful they'd be joining Goshen, but obviously when someone already has land and has invested in their area, that's likely not the case.  So, as I mentioned these last two visits have been more of a chance to chat and fellowship, exchange a few ideas, encourage each other, and fulfill my vow to my friend.  It was the week of so much rain, when the phone rang about 8 in the morning.  This individual had an unexpected break in her schedule and wanted to head down that day.  I told her it was raining so I was going to take care of town business that day, but I'd be home before evening.  It was then that Abba showed me, this was the opportunity.  After all these years of plans, she would not have time to talk herself out of the trip, and so the plans were made.  She arrived, and although it was shemitah and rainy, we enjoyed the fellowship.

I'm blessed to be able to keep in touch with some of the folks who have visited here, via social media and telephone, but the open house visitation policy of the Land of Goshen has come to a close.  It's time to be ready for the permanent residents.

And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers;  For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Messiah:  contained in a letter to one of the seven churches

Sunday, May 31, 2015

Loving Enough

I'm not sure who you are or where y'all are, but I'm praying for all y'all!  I hope you're praying for your future community, as well.  So many of us are feeling the urgency of preparedness.  I'm not talking about bugging out or going underground, but simply coming together in fellowship and being ready to let our light shine through some very troubling times in the not so distant future.  We know from Scripture, there is a time coming that will be like nothing before seen.

I've truly struggled the past couple of weeks with my weakness.  As always with a struggle, comes several opportunities to blow it, as well as that single solution that will bring solitude and serenity.  Well, so far, I don't think I've blown it, but I haven't quite found that single solution, either.   I know my Heavenly Father does have one for me.  I'm going to be honest, here.  Not that I'm usually dishonest, but this is personal.  When things don't turn out as I thought they would, or turn out at all, and take a very long time, I begin to question.  I have no doubt that I heard YHWH call me to this place and the plan, but . . .  After writing my concern last month that I might have blown it, I have been walking on spiritual eggshells the past few weeks truly in fear of YHWH and that I've missed the plan.

In going back over some of the recent posts, I was hoping to find that word of assurance or reassurance, but the words are just words on the screen and all I hear is, the battle is not mine.  I was truly afraid I was falling away . . . It feels like I'm dying without fellowship and I'm just tired of being gracious to those who have made it clear, this isn't what they want and my best is simply not good enough.  My problem is not that I'm not enough.  My problem is, I don't care to be enough, I'm just tired of being gracious!  Tired of being gracious is a scary place to be.  What if some of the thoughts bouncing in my brain come flying out my mouth?  I shudder to even think of that.

I asked YHWH, back in 2001, to show me His heart.  I wanted to love like He does, but oh my!!!  I have gotten to the point of genuinely loving people, saying I love you, and not needing to hear it back.  I really do love people!  The problem I seem to struggle with is when I find myself going long past the second mile, second year, second everything . . . desperately trying to not be unloving.

And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not love, I am nothing.  I Corinthians 13:2


Tuesday, May 26, 2015

The Time Has Arrived

So many things just hit me this week.  Hit me like a ton of bricks, because these things were in my awareness for years, but I just didn't see it!  I just didn't see it.  To be honest, all I see so far, is the door ajar and light shining through.  I'm not trying to sound ethereal or as if I'm speaking of something intangible, because it's real, I just don't know when the door will open further.  Meanwhile, I must prioritize, as everything is not urgent!

For months, I've felt led, drawn into Oklahoma, but every single encounter that appeared to be a door, was a brick wall.  As it turns out, I was going about it all backward.  This opportunity is not about me making an earthly financial investment, but rather a kingdom investment.  I should have realized that . . . but I didn't and Abba has been gracious enough and patient with me, until I did realize it.

It's also time to put together the invitation/contract for those who would be led to minister here in The Land of Goshen.  We should probably be getting into place before the full scale need of the ministry arises.  Things are moving very quickly around the earth toward true calamity, and then sadly, a new world order with a leader who offers nearly everyone the answer they want to hear.  That project begins after publication.  If the weather forecasts are correct, I'll have some indoor days this week.

I'm still bouncing a few notions around about the goat herd, but that is one of those non-urgent matters at this time.  There is plenty of pasture and thankfully, still an auction should I decide to downsize, or get some new blood.  Practical preparation was the instruction given, so this may be a matter of me making observations and sorting as the season continues.  I don't have a garden to tend to, and I remember from last shemitah, the herd took some time to to build and glean.

The newest revelation was one more thing to unlearn about our societal/religious rules regarding ministry and marriage.  I learned in shul, years ago that Lapidoth had nothing to do with Deborah's ministry as judge and prophetess.  Since Deborah is included in my given name, I paid attention, but not enough.  She also worked with others in her ministry that did not include her husband.  As a matter of fact, Lapidoth was mentioned just to let us know she was a married woman, who worked with Barak, not her husband; and that was that.  The passage tells us many in Israel came to her for counsel.

Here all these years, I've bounced between thinking Mr. B would get it, to thinking Mr. B would be getting out, to thinking I'd miss out.  The simple fact is, I was called and doing this ministry before I ever met Mr. B.  He knew of the vow, and held his peace when he heard of it.  The vision was explained to him and again, he didn't speak out against it.  Once he held his peace, that became between he and YHWH.  Since he also found me unpleasing as a wife, but did not want a divorce, that also became a matter between he and YHWH.  I've been hearing for some time now, this battle is not mine.  Now, I understand, since the battle's not mine, I can simply move forward as an individual with a goal and a vision, and a call.

It all culminated yesterday when I attended a Pentecostal church in celebration of Feast of Weeks.  Following the music, which was wonderful, the Pastor stood behind the pulpit and said, "Open your Bibles to Ezekiel 22:30."  Instantly in a flood of revelation and emotion, came the memory of when Adonai had first spoken those words to me.  Everything I've wondered, the doubts that have plagued me since this marriage dead-ended all those years ago, fell away as YHWH brought my focus back to the fact, I'd been given the call and this passage before I thought this marriage was an issue.  The time has arrived to move forward in service to YHWH as I am, where I stand.

And I sought for a man among them, that should make up the hedge, and stand in the gap before me for the land, that I should not destroy it: but I found none.

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Sustainability vs. Stockpiling

I'm all about laying in a supply.  I don't go to town often, and I'm not one to utilize fast food drive through.  I don't want to hoard, but I am absolutely adamant against waste.  I didn't waste any of last year's abundant harvest and I've bought a few extra bags of rice and beans, but more valuable than a few extra jars in the cellar or bags in the pantry are seeds and soil.  Sustainability beats stockpiling, hands down.

As our nation plunges headlong into spiritual darkness, judgment is inevitable.  Scripturally we see, when the judgment becomes intense, it will be evil that will increase.  By now, it should be fairly obvious, evil doesn't have much of a conscience and apparently, even less remorse.  Pride is a sin, in and of itself, but America has now become so depraved, this society is actually proud of sin!  For those with any sense, a plan of survival, independent of the societal collapse would be wise.  Sustainability beats stockpiling.

Scripture tells us the love of money is the root of all evil, so promise of economic recovery has historically laid the foundation for many evil dictators and rulers.  Stockpiles can be stolen and or depleted.  Of course, something or someone can get in gardens and chicken houses too, but unless death and destruction is the goal, a plant would continue to produce and hens will lay more eggs.  Scripture tells us there is a day coming in which we will not be able to buy and sell, we must have a source of food that is outside of commerce.  Again, sustainability trumps stockpiling.

The truly sad thing about our instant gratification society, is that most people simply can not envision a goal; and sadly will not be able to foresee exhaustion of the supply, either.  With everything that is stockpiled, be it ammo, groceries, or freeze dried rations, it does not continue in perpetuity.  Our Creator's plan was for humanity to tend the garden and care for the animals.  Even in the the case of the ark and the flood, Scripture tells us Noah was a farmer, who built that ark according to specs to save every living species.  Messiah said the end of days would be "as in the days of Noah."  Noah was commanded to do some stockpiling, but as soon as the water receded, he planted . . . Stockpiling was only good until sustainability was once again possible.

As lazy as many are in this country, sustainability will not even be an inviting concept.  Guaranteed, when anarchy reigns, it won't be the seeds and garden implements anyone is after . . .but the stockpiles.  I would wager to guess, stockpiles may serve for barter and negotiation, but will not serve for long term sustainability.  Our Creator's plan is all that will truly provide and endure.  In the case of societal collapse and economic control, jobs will not be employment, but slavery.

And YHWH Elohim took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it. Genesis 2:15 . . . that if any would not work, neither should he eat.  II Timothy 3:10b  

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Just Do What Needs to Be Done

Nike originally coined the phrase, "Just Do It" for marketing their sports shoes, but here on the preservation, I have to assess the "needs to be" part of life before I "Just Do It."  This next step is monumental, therefore it cannot be "just done."  This homestead is to be of use through the time of tribulation.  I don't know that it will be used until the end, but I'm to put it in place to be used as Abba wills.  I've struggled with a strange thought for some years now, though, and I'm going to go ahead and write it.  Perhaps it will bring me some clarity, offer insight, or at least get it off my mind.

As I go about the chores and duties of running this homestead, my business, and the publishing, I have to have order.  There has to be a goal and a plan to recognize an accomplishment.  It has come to my attention, it's time to move in the direction of community.  Being ready and preparing are fine, but just waiting for people to invite themselves isn't the next step.  Now that the homestead is pretty much in place, it's time to start building the community.  I have no idea where to start, but there are some facts I have to face.  The first one has to do with my descendants, so I've of course wanted to keep the door open.  The next step is irrelevant to a door with my descendants here, because so far, none of them have shown any interest beyond visiting occasionally.  Only one has absolutely slammed the door shut, but the rest are still in search mode, which brings me to the next revelation.

There are young people, couples and families with a heart for this lifestyle.  There are middle-aged/50+ year old couples with a heart to minister, lifestyle not withstanding, and there are singles of all ages who truly desire fellowship.  It could be this place will be as eclectic as the trail blazer.  That would really sort of make sense now wouldn't it?  That way, at least, we wouldn't get caught up in dogmatic divisions of the physical details of the place.  I'm always up for ideas that would improve efficiency and various types of folks and circumstances would definitely broaden the potential outreach of our little community.

The last part of this readiness has been a bit hard to consider, but it is what it is.  I'm out here in the wilderness, establishing a place with a person who repeatedly tells me, he does not share this vision.  This statement has come, however; years after he agreed to allow me to keep this vision and vow unto YHWH, which I had made before we married anyway . . . and he knew that then, so I have found  myself asking some very hard questions.  Did I hear YHWH regarding this marriage?  The answer has continued to be a resounding "Yes."  So the next one has been tough.  Did YHWH call this marriage as some sort of chastisement or punishment for me?  With that question, my marital track record comes to mind as well as my last bout with mainstream health care . . . I do know, though, as in the case when David cried out, our Heavenly Father does extend mercy upon our repentance.

I've also considered, perhaps, as in the case of Moses, I'm only going to see the vision, but not get to participate in it.  Perhaps I will die in this wilderness without seeing the community come to life.  If that's the case, it's especially imperative that I extend some invitations soon, so the next generation has a place of refuge.  One more awesome thought came this morning as I contemplated this.  Joshua and Caleb did enter in and neither of them were spring chickens, but they had to wait for a time . . . They were the elders of the group that would enter in.  To the best of my spiritual understanding and mathematical skills, Joshua would have been right about 60 when the wilderness experience ended, and here I am, 57 years old.

Be strong and of a good courage: for unto this people shalt thou divide for an inheritance the land . . . Joshua 1:6a

Sunday, May 3, 2015

Be Fruitful and Multiply

As the gay agenda continues to gain momentum in this country by aggressively attacking small businesses and confusing children, I'll be sharing thoughts and observations.  Today the observation is simple.  We are looking at one more method of population control.  I realize for now there is surrogacy and adoption and it looks like a gay couple would probably receive preferential treatment through this system.  Now, let's consider the concept, that all this extra legislation potentially places the government in every bedroom across the country.

I saw an interview earlier today about China's "one child law," and how the population is no longer the issue, but the law remains in place to keep people living in fear and under government control.  Is there anyone in this country who doesn't think our government wants more control?

If gay marriage and gay partnerships are "mainstreamed" in our society, it will only bring more government control over all children.  Those words spoken over creation, "Be fruitful and multiply" have been "fightin' words" to the enemy throughout history.  The children have always been the spoils of war and the victims of war!  This spiritual battle continues to prove that.  The gay agenda doesn't realize it's just a temporary tool of an expanding government.  Elected officials, formerly known as public servants, are in place to expand power.  The blatant rebellion against the Word of YHWH and exaltation of national pride will bring judgment.

With gay marriage, mandatory vaccinations, and managed healthcare, don't think for a moment every registered birth in the nation won't be government controlled.  For the most part, they already are, but with surrogate mothers and adoption becoming a major part of being fruitful and multiplying, children will simply be wards of the state with an adult or a pair of adults "granted" custody.

Here on the preservation, I can tell you, all hens and no rooster means plenty of eggs, but no hatchlings.  With the goats, a buck will tear a fence down or practically kill himself jumping, to get to the does through the mating season.   Animals continue to procreate and repopulate because they have remained true to the way they were created, although legislation and regulation is attempting to weigh heavily on animals as well.

Marriage ruled by our government has placed the reproductive rights in the hands of the government, and those hands are about to become clenched fists.

And YHWH blessed them, and YHWH said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply . . . Genesis 1: 28