Monday, November 30, 2015

The Departure of a Matriarch

I've been amazed and oddly intrigued in the happenings of this past week.  By intrigued, I mean drawn into astute observation as the circumstances have unfolded.  I'd noticed some years ago that Americans are either too programmed or too afraid to die with dignity.  It seems most folks just cannot accept numbered days and would prefer to die in a hospital bed with monitors beeping, needles in their veins and tubes in every orifice.  On the other hand, I've also noticed, once a person seeks medical care for a single concern, it can snowball, to the point their original wishes are lost in hospital protocol and medical advice . . . resulting in monitors, needles, and tubes . . . anyway!  It seems nobody gets to die like Jacob did in Genesis, with his loved ones gathered round, listening to his final words.

Seeing so much of this and hearing about so many procedures, I chose to write my wishes, have the paper notarized, and carry it on me at all times.  I've also made the decision to not seek medical care for anything, and since making that decision, our Heavenly Father has protected me from "what's going around," healed my broken bones, and kept me running this homestead in-spite of the MS diagnosis.  I truly believe in making that firm, uncompromising decision, Adonai has blessed me beyond measure.  As I've said, I've even had broken bones that have mended without any medical care whatsoever.  The breaks were obvious, so there is no doubt of His healing power.  Now, I say all this, leading up to my real point.

Several years ago in talking, my Sweet Aunt Nina told me she'd like me to officiate her funeral service.  She said she wanted it to be a celebration of her life, etc. yata, yata.  Of course, I agreed, as she is a very upbeat encourager, and . . . there was nothing imminent in her request.  She was not yet 75 and in relatively good health.  She's had a few health issues in the past couple of years, but her voice on the phone was always upbeat, she always had something to share about her family, always had a joke or anecdote, and always we ended the conversation telling each other "I love you."  She's maintained a very special separation of information in her support system, so although she divulged some health information to each of us, we thought we were informed, but nobody had the full picture, until this past week-end.

She and I are enough alike and we've spoken enough times about it, we both knew we wanted to die with tribal dignity.  Either walk out into the timber and not come back, as our ancestors did, or home in bed with the family respecting our wishes.  She had pretty much held her kids to secrecy and kept her phone calls upbeat and now that I look back, the phone conversations maintained their frequency but had become shorter.  She spoke weekly with her brother, my Daddy, who this past weekend noticed something amiss, so he went to see her the next day.

It was just one week ago today, everyone became aware of the true state of her health and she formally announced her end of life wishes.  He called me, telling me to get in touch with her, as she told him I was to do her funeral . . . This was apparently news to everyone except me.  There had been no reason for me to say anything earlier.  She still had company so she didn't want me to call that evening.  She called me Tuesday morning shortly after 7 to go over the details.  We spoke of the practical plans and her spiritual beliefs.  She told me she was not afraid to die, then proceeded to tell me about her granddaughter's wedding, and of course a joke.  We ended the conversation with the usual, "I love you" and that was that.

By Thursday evening she was in the hospital and it was not going as she had wanted.  I prayed.  The next day, the doctor discussed her options and said he would honor her wishes.  She said, she just wanted to breathe easier and go home.  Sabbath morning, she was fully mindful of everything and everyone, agreed only to medication to keep her comfortable, removed her oxygen mask and asked everyone present to gather round her bed and sing a hymn.  They were told she probably would not last the day.  When my cousin's wife relayed this to me, I knew my cousins were doing everything they could to allow Aunt Nina to die with the dignity of Jacob.  I've continued to pray through this, and I've tried very hard for the prayers to not be selfish.  There were just two things still undone, and knowing Aunt Nina, she wasn't leaving this sod until they were done.

Her son in law left the hospital to go get the tribal blanket she'd chosen for the top of her casket, and she knew that, but she was still hanging on.  As a matter of fact, my cousin said she was talking and reminiscing in the night, clearly and quite understandably.  Sunday morning, her final wish was granted to go home.  She's going to be allowed the dignity of dying at home, with her loved ones surrounding her.  I'm truly going to miss my Sweet Aunt Nina.

I have waited for thy salvation, O YHWH . . . And he charged them, and said unto them, I am to be gathered unto my people . . . And when Jacob had made an end of commanding his sons, he gathered up his feet into the bed, and yielded up the ghost, and was gathered unto his people.  words of Jacob in Genesis 49:18, 29a, 33

She did get home and in less than 30 minutes, she saw that she was home, surrounded by her loved ones, and she passed . . .

Monday, November 16, 2015

Getting Glitchy

I was going to post this in "updates" but upon further consideration, this seems to be the better choice.  There is a day coming that will mark the end of the world as we know it, but most of us will not realize it until we are already into the new world order.  I'm not talking about the mark of the beast or the apocalypse, but smaller things that will just slip away and be gone before we realize it.  I truly do not believe the new world order will be sudden, or have a countdown announced.  Although I do believe the prophesied ugliness will become obvious, I believe the one world order will come into place, one glitch at a time.

About a month ago, I started noticing my phone was working differently, as was my internet connection.  I'm not going conspiranoid here, just making an observation, because this subject has already been addressed my many in regard to the electricity grid.  Back to the past month.  It was a Monday afternoon that I saw the light on the phone blinking indicating voice mail.  I'd been outdoors so I naturally thought I'd not heard the phone ring.  I hadn't heard the phone ring, because the phone hadn't rung that afternoon.  The voicemail was from the previous Friday.  I was home all day Friday and Sabbath and the blinking light for voice mail had not appeared.  Sunday, I was in and out, but still no blinking light on the phone.  After listening to Friday's message Monday afternoon, it occurred to me there had been no calls all weekend.  Folks that know me, know I'm a seventh day Sabbath keeper, so a weekend with no calls is not unheard of, but then it happened again a couple of weeks later in the middle of the week.

The second time it happened, again I didn't realize until the calls began coming in again.  More than one person told me they had tried to call and didn't even get my voicemail.  Also through these weeks, my computer seems to be in constant update mode and running like a three legged dog.  My wifi has also not connected, yet it's set to automatically connect when I turn on the computer.  Through that same time, I've left voicemail messages for my daughter, and she said she never heard her phone ring or saw a missed message.  Then other times, she picks right up . . .

When her phone didn't ring and no missed call or messages showed up, she said she was due for an upgrade . . . I noticed my computer began to bog down when I refused an upgrade and the new Windows operating system.  I'm using a very old wifi connection and my phone is verizon landline, so the signal comes from the tower but my phone can't leave the place.  Now, here's where I'm actually going with this "glitch theory."  No, I do not think Verizon or AT&T or Microsoft are trying to disconnect me, but I do wonder if Microsoft doesn't have "total control" in their mission statement.  My point is, if a communication signal was actually lost or as folks have posted about EMPs shutting down the grid . . . How many of us would just think it's our own personal glitch?

I'm in the middle of basically nowhere, so when there are glitches, I presume it's just a local glitch.  When offices have computer issues, everyone is sure it's just a software problem . . . When phone messages don't go through, we can't talk to anyone else to see if it's wider scale . . . I'm relatively sure the day is coming when communication will come at a greater cost than I'm willing to pay, as in a spiritual cost.  I'm guessing before we hear that blast of the shofar of Messiah's return, my method of communication may be down to smoke signals . . . providing the EPA hasn't outlawed that!

It is possible to see we could actually experience some sort of a significant problem, lose the ability to receive the information; and just think it's a little glitch in our system or need an upgrade, when the reality would be much larger scale.

If any man have an ear, let him hear.  Revelation 13:9    

Sunday, November 8, 2015

Found Money

This past week, I found myself in an unusual situation, that brought a great deal of introspection.  I stopped to make a real quick purchase at the Dollar General in the neighboring town, when I decided using the restroom might be a good idea before heading home.   You may think it sounds trivial, but any time I am in town, I'm at least 20 minutes from home, often more, with more than a few miles of nothing but rocks and bumps on dirt roads.  So, I parked my shopping cart and headed to the back.  An employee was cleaning the unisex bathroom, so I waited while she finished sweeping and tying up the trash bag before gaining access.  As I walked in, I saw a folded up bill on the floor.  Although the numbers weren't apparent, with the new "monopoly" colorization in our currency, it appeared to be a twenty.  I took a photo, then leaned over to pick it up, and to my utter shock, found more money under it!

The single bill was indeed a $20.00, and what had been under it on the floor were four more twenties folded neatly together.  Immediately, the thought occurred to me, it must have fallen out of the employee's pocket, that had just cleaned the restroom.  Meanwhile in all this excitement, the original reason I was there came to mind, so I tended to business, washed my hands, recounted the money in disbelief, grabbed my purse, and headed out the door to find the employee. Surely the money hadn't just been laying on the floor while they cleaned.  She was still in the back room, so I asked her if she'd lost any money.  She checked her pockets, pulled out a couple of dollars and said, "No."  With her cash being accounted for, she said a delivery man had used the restroom right before she had swept, so perhaps it was his.  He was still unloading, so we asked.  He said he always ran on a debit card, so it wasn't his.  He then asked me how much I'd found.  I was a bit hesitant, and simply said . . . more than $20.00.

The employee then directed me to two more employees, who both stated they had not lost any money.  So, what's a girl to do?  I went out to the "buggy" and as we pulled out of the parking lot, I informed Mr. B that he wouldn't believe what had just happened.  With that, I began telling the story.  He couldn't imagine that the employee had overlooked it on the floor, while sweeping.  I shrugged and said, perhaps I should have left my card, but then several thoughts collided in my head.  The amount of money indicated someone would clearly be missing it.  I could have left it, to see if anyone claimed it.  I could turn it into the police. To be honest, I also gave a moment's consideration that a drug deal could have gone down . . . and it wouldn't be claimed.    I could definitely call back later to see if anyone had returned looking.  I figured if the money was not claimed within 48 hours, then clearly someone in need of $100.00 would be crossing my path.

My mind was in quite a whirl there for a moment.  I've just never found $100.00 lying on the floor!  Once the course of action for the rest of the day, was determined; I gave a bit of consideration as to how I might have handled that back before following Messiah.  I'm relatively sure I'd have done the same thing in the store, as I was "relatively" honest before being born again.  I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have even considered the notion that I'd give away $100.00.  I'm also unsure as to whether I would have made a follow up phone call that evening.  I then gave thought to the employees who checked their pockets to make sure they hadn't lost just a couple of dollars.  Would I have even attempted to find the owner of a couple of dollars or even $5.00?  So many questions, and the answer boiled down, not to money, but to the value of honesty.

That evening after chores I called the store.  I was told someone had come in a few hours later, asking if anyone had found any money.  They left their name and number, and the amount that had been lost.  Sure enough, five $20s.  I told the employee who answered, it was too late for me to return before closing time that evening, but I'd bring it in the following day.

One Scripture continues to come to mind since that day.
If therefore ye have not been faithful in the unrighteous mammon, who will commit to your trust the true riches?   Luke 16:11