Sunday, April 26, 2015

Thy Will Be Done

Coming in from chores this morning, I paused to give thought.  Still in my nightgown, my hair, slightly tousled by the wind, and juggling four bottles as I reached for the doorknob, I smiled and gave thanks.  The Land of Goshen is just about ready . . . I then had a strange wave of remorse wash over me as I considered all the times of doubt and the urge to run through these years of preparation.  Through all this time, there has always been the single haunting fact that this has been a divided house, a vision not shared.  It's been a real struggle for me.  I've prayed about it, cried about it, written about it, and complained about it . . . and the other day, while in the shower, I heard what YHWH had to say about it.

Hearing Adonai in the shower is not unusual, but hearing what He had to say about this particular situation really hit home quickly.  When YHWH speaks, His voice is so multi-dimensional.  The statement was obviously clear.  He said, "You are afraid of how I am going to resolve this problem."  Immediately, those words cut precisely as described in Hebrews 4:12.

Nearly eight years ago, I accepted that this situation would not be resolved by human litigation or even human agreement.  By accepting, I mean, I knew I was obligated to remain in a loveless marriage, but I wasn't always gracious about that fact.  Even typing it, causes me to wince.  So, life has moved on, and noticeably even farther away from each other, although the address is shared.

We have fought about absolutely everything under the sun except money, and resolved absolutely nothing.  And in hearing YHWH's statement to me, I realized, there truly is nothing left to fight about, therefore; resolution would not be accomplished through communication.  Every time I approached Mr. B in an attempt to discuss a matter, I was literally interfering in G-d's plan.  Somewhere beneath the level of soul and spirit, I knew that . . . As long as I continued to attempt to discuss the problem, I was preventing YHWH's solution.  Wow!  Busted!  So very busted.

The simple fact of the matter is, I have other things to tend to than seemingly impossible circumstances.  With YHWH, all things are possible.  It was the possibilities that were scaring me.  I have had it in my mind, how I'd like this situation resolved.  I'd like to overcome the circumstances in my old ways, but, Abba doesn't need me operating in the flesh.  He already knows how this turns out.  My readiness is not about getting other things resolved or even dealing with a human being who has already rejected me.  My readiness is about getting me ready and being able to accept the solution that is outside of my accomplishment.  My readiness is about truly meaning "Thy Will be done!"

For the word of Eohim is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.  Hebrews 4:12

Monday, April 20, 2015

The Eagle Dream

  This is very difficult to share, in that, it will involve me personally, as well as the remnant on every level from personal to global.  I've struggled with how to understand and share this, because to be honest, I knew it was personal, but I figured if it was as big as it is being revealed to be, Abba would have given it to a more important, well spoken servant.  For me to sit on this after receiving understanding, waiting for someone else to tell it, would be rebellion.

I rarely have dreams that include Mr. B.  I've always thought it strange that in over 13 years of marriage, I can count the dreams that include him, on one hand.  They are memorable, I assure you, but that's not really the point of this.  When he is in a dream, I know there is spiritual significance, for two reasons.  We are not joined, so something is brewing on the horizon that will be coming toward me and since I can hear the voice of Abba, when I receive a spiritual dream, the message is something I am struggling to understand or struggling against understanding.

The dream consisted of Mr. B and myself on some sort of "stage" or bema.  There were no lights turned on, but light did come in through the windows of what appeared to be a large auditorium or modern sanctuary.  We faced each other and behind us was a rectangular container, almost coffin like, with two or three dead eagles in lying side by side.  The container was longer than it was wide and the birds were laid in what was the width of the box.

There was a space at the end of the container near Mr. B, that would accommodate one more bird, yet he was handing the eagle to me.  The eagle had fierce talons, and as I took the bird by the legs, his uninjured wing spanned what seemed to be larger than I am tall.  The other wing was wounded at the "shoulder" joint, but this bird was very much alive.  I believe it was the left wing that was wounded, but that may just be because I took him in my left hand . . .

I posted it to social media the morning after dreaming it, asking for a Joseph or Daniel to interpret; and received virtually no takers.  There were a couple of small insights offered and by the way the individuals shared, I could tell they knew it was significant and didn't want to misdirect or speak out of place.  There was one individual who hides behind some ministry name who simply posted, that I knew what it meant.  Thanks so much!  It was not easy to gain understanding.  I looked in Strong's Concordance for every place "eagle" appears in Scripture and then delved into every passage.

This is the understanding I have received.  As we watch our known enemies, we are not seeing that Messiah's words are coming to pass.  Our enemy is of our own . . . home, religion, and country.  Betrayal is coming on a large scale, and blame will be "placed" . . .  We cannot be betrayed by a known enemy, betrayal involves someone close, even trusted.  For some, it will mean death and for some it will mean captivity.   For the remnant, even in death, there is the promise of resurrection.  As for captivity, we know ultimately the Truth will stand and the truth sets us free.  In these many betrayals on all levels, many will be wounded, but in that wounded bird, there was amazing strength; symbolizing the promise of renewal.

But they that wait upon YHWH shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Regarding the Gatherings

Just when I think I have some insight and discernment in regard to how these gatherings will come together, specifically, this one, I stumble upon yet another concept out of the blue.  More than anything, I want to do this according to the plan of YHWH.  Anything else would be a cult!  Having been pierced to the core, by the most hideous accusation imaginable, avoidance of a cult has stayed in the forefront of my mind, but . . . that's been wrong.  Seeking YHWH has to be the only priority.  Fear of hosting a cult could become a self-fulfilling prophecy, so I've done some serious spiritual and mental reorganizing.

In the visits and discussions to and about this place, it seems everyone has an idea.  Having watched three of my wishful circumstances blow up, I don't want to become skeptical, but rather circumspect.  We all hope we are going to be equally yoked in a project, but that didn't happen for me.  I was also hopeful that a dear friend was going to get her life organized . . . and come on board, but that didn't happen, either.  I truly was hoping my tribe would be part of this plan, but that's not looking likely either.  What does look promising are the comments I'm receiving in which some folks are seriously assessing their talents and goals.  Some areas are sending some amazingly encouraging reports of remnant gatherings, and I'm learning from those.

First and foremost, if all someone has are ideas how to change what is already established, without any actual investment, this place is not for you.  Second, if someone has a history of not working and playing well with others, I can be a presence to be reckoned with; so keep that in mind.  Third, if anyone is already aware of the signs of the times while continuing business as usual, better rethink that "business as usual" plan before the panic ensues.   There is a home on 10 acres for sale, less than a mile from here, as we all may gather while maintaining our own properties.  That seems to be working well in other locations.

If we actually gather in the Land of Goshen, here are some things I am open to.  Ideas for improvement and greater efficiency are always welcome.  I'm thinking travel trailers, RVs, and small home living may be best for those who would join, and once we are established, my home would become the community house, so to speak.  There is a Tabernacle on site, but at this time no pastor or musician.  I can do some teaching and some evangelizing, even receive a prophetic word now and again, as well as plink on the keyboard; but I know those with the full call of those responsibilities will have their place, and be welcomed here.

I've been praying for a five fold ministry for years and believe that will be happening soon.  If you have a specific call listed in Ephesians 4, and you haven't stepped into it, perhaps this is the time and place.  I am praying for those who serve YHWH, follow Messiah in Torah obedience, and believe it's time to remove our dependency from the system.  I'm also praying for those who are clueless, as they will need our help when society does break down.

The vision for this place is a five fold ministry that will reach out to those who have not been privy to the coming calamities, or heard the Good News that will sustain them through this time.  There are many in the younger generation who simply do not know about YHWH and have not met Y'hshuwah.  Many in our society have been programmed to be dependent and just accept what they are told and/or given.  The remnant communities will be the countercultures of the establishment through the end of days . . .

. . . the remnant . . . which keep the commandments of YHWH, and have the testimony of Y'hshuwah Messiah.  the Revelation

Sunday, April 5, 2015


It was confirmed, yet again, who our family really is, according to Y'hshuwah's definition.  This past week, my granddaughter was hit by a car while riding her bike.  I found out about this on social media.  My love/hate relationship with facebook is now leaning toward "love" at this point.  I am thankful that YHWH allowed me to see it on Facebook, rather than not know at all.  The other reason I'm leaning toward love for Facebook in this, is the amazing outpouring of concern shown by so many who are truly family in Messiah.

When I first saw the photos, I was immediately shaken.  The thought of anyone being struck by a moving vehicle is horrendous, and even moreso when you personally know that individual.  When that individual involved calls you G-ma, your heart literally aches for their pain and for fear of their safety.  To discover this fact on social media just confirms another sad fact, but fact it is, and life goes on.  What happened next has both sustained me, while causing me to accept something I never wanted to face.  I posted a simple prayer request for my granddaughter.

The responses were overwhelmingly awesome.  The simple post became a thread that took on a "life of it's own" with promises of prayer as well as requests for updates.  I received private messages as well.  Many of these individuals, I only know through online fellowship, and yet they took the time to contact me individually, sharing concern, reassuring me that she was still on their prayer list.  It's been a week now, and with extra housework, Holy Days, etc. people are still letting me know she is on their hearts.  They are truly family!

Meanwhile, the acceptance has settled in, finally . . . that our earthly "legal" families are not necessarily who or what we count on.  Abraham has come to mind frequently this week.  I feel that pain of realizing we simply cannot expect G-d to fix or bless what we chose to do outside of His will.  I found myself wondering if Abraham was able to enjoy a relationship with Ishmael's children, with the possibility that the answer was, 'no.'

The gratitude I've felt for mishpocha in YHWH has truly enveloped my heart.  The presence of YHWH has been so comforting.  As the week came to a close with the focus on the Exodus from Egypt, the perfect Passover Lamb, Y'hshuwah Messiah, and the anniversary of when I first met Him, I'm so grateful, so very grateful to be a part of the family of YHWH.  I didn't understand what it was to actually follow Messiah, when I met Him, but now by the grace of YHWH, I'm on the narrow path.  There are times I miss what I had hoped would be, but this week I've realized, it was hope in the wrong things, and only hope.  I never had what I'd hoped for in the natural, so I simply cannot miss what I never had.
I do have family, mishpocha, in Y'hshuwah!

For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.  words of Messiah