Sunday, May 31, 2015

Loving Enough

I'm not sure who you are or where y'all are, but I'm praying for all y'all!  I hope you're praying for your future community, as well.  So many of us are feeling the urgency of preparedness.  I'm not talking about bugging out or going underground, but simply coming together in fellowship and being ready to let our light shine through some very troubling times in the not so distant future.  We know from Scripture, there is a time coming that will be like nothing before seen.

I've truly struggled the past couple of weeks with my weakness.  As always with a struggle, comes several opportunities to blow it, as well as that single solution that will bring solitude and serenity.  Well, so far, I don't think I've blown it, but I haven't quite found that single solution, either.   I know my Heavenly Father does have one for me.  I'm going to be honest, here.  Not that I'm usually dishonest, but this is personal.  When things don't turn out as I thought they would, or turn out at all, and take a very long time, I begin to question.  I have no doubt that I heard YHWH call me to this place and the plan, but . . .  After writing my concern last month that I might have blown it, I have been walking on spiritual eggshells the past few weeks truly in fear of YHWH and that I've missed the plan.

In going back over some of the recent posts, I was hoping to find that word of assurance or reassurance, but the words are just words on the screen and all I hear is, the battle is not mine.  I was truly afraid I was falling away . . . It feels like I'm dying without fellowship and I'm just tired of being gracious to those who have made it clear, this isn't what they want and my best is simply not good enough.  My problem is not that I'm not enough.  My problem is, I don't care to be enough, I'm just tired of being gracious!  Tired of being gracious is a scary place to be.  What if some of the thoughts bouncing in my brain come flying out my mouth?  I shudder to even think of that.

I asked YHWH, back in 2001, to show me His heart.  I wanted to love like He does, but oh my!!!  I have gotten to the point of genuinely loving people, saying I love you, and not needing to hear it back.  I really do love people!  The problem I seem to struggle with is when I find myself going long past the second mile, second year, second everything . . . desperately trying to not be unloving.

And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not love, I am nothing.  I Corinthians 13:2


Tuesday, May 26, 2015

The Time Has Arrived

So many things just hit me this week.  Hit me like a ton of bricks, because these things were in my awareness for years, but I just didn't see it!  I just didn't see it.  To be honest, all I see so far, is the door ajar and light shining through.  I'm not trying to sound ethereal or as if I'm speaking of something intangible, because it's real, I just don't know when the door will open further.  Meanwhile, I must prioritize, as everything is not urgent!

For months, I've felt led, drawn into Oklahoma, but every single encounter that appeared to be a door, was a brick wall.  As it turns out, I was going about it all backward.  This opportunity is not about me making an earthly financial investment, but rather a kingdom investment.  I should have realized that . . . but I didn't and Abba has been gracious enough and patient with me, until I did realize it.

It's also time to put together the invitation/contract for those who would be led to minister here in The Land of Goshen.  We should probably be getting into place before the full scale need of the ministry arises.  Things are moving very quickly around the earth toward true calamity, and then sadly, a new world order with a leader who offers nearly everyone the answer they want to hear.  That project begins after publication.  If the weather forecasts are correct, I'll have some indoor days this week.

I'm still bouncing a few notions around about the goat herd, but that is one of those non-urgent matters at this time.  There is plenty of pasture and thankfully, still an auction should I decide to downsize, or get some new blood.  Practical preparation was the instruction given, so this may be a matter of me making observations and sorting as the season continues.  I don't have a garden to tend to, and I remember from last shemitah, the herd took some time to to build and glean.

The newest revelation was one more thing to unlearn about our societal/religious rules regarding ministry and marriage.  I learned in shul, years ago that Lapidoth had nothing to do with Deborah's ministry as judge and prophetess.  Since Deborah is included in my given name, I paid attention, but not enough.  She also worked with others in her ministry that did not include her husband.  As a matter of fact, Lapidoth was mentioned just to let us know she was a married woman, who worked with Barak, not her husband; and that was that.  The passage tells us many in Israel came to her for counsel.

Here all these years, I've bounced between thinking Mr. B would get it, to thinking Mr. B would be getting out, to thinking I'd miss out.  The simple fact is, I was called and doing this ministry before I ever met Mr. B.  He knew of the vow, and held his peace when he heard of it.  The vision was explained to him and again, he didn't speak out against it.  Once he held his peace, that became between he and YHWH.  Since he also found me unpleasing as a wife, but did not want a divorce, that also became a matter between he and YHWH.  I've been hearing for some time now, this battle is not mine.  Now, I understand, since the battle's not mine, I can simply move forward as an individual with a goal and a vision, and a call.

It all culminated yesterday when I attended a Pentecostal church in celebration of Feast of Weeks.  Following the music, which was wonderful, the Pastor stood behind the pulpit and said, "Open your Bibles to Ezekiel 22:30."  Instantly in a flood of revelation and emotion, came the memory of when Adonai had first spoken those words to me.  Everything I've wondered, the doubts that have plagued me since this marriage dead-ended all those years ago, fell away as YHWH brought my focus back to the fact, I'd been given the call and this passage before I thought this marriage was an issue.  The time has arrived to move forward in service to YHWH as I am, where I stand.

And I sought for a man among them, that should make up the hedge, and stand in the gap before me for the land, that I should not destroy it: but I found none.

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Sustainability vs. Stockpiling

I'm all about laying in a supply.  I don't go to town often, and I'm not one to utilize fast food drive through.  I don't want to hoard, but I am absolutely adamant against waste.  I didn't waste any of last year's abundant harvest and I've bought a few extra bags of rice and beans, but more valuable than a few extra jars in the cellar or bags in the pantry are seeds and soil.  Sustainability beats stockpiling, hands down.

As our nation plunges headlong into spiritual darkness, judgment is inevitable.  Scripturally we see, when the judgment becomes intense, it will be evil that will increase.  By now, it should be fairly obvious, evil doesn't have much of a conscience and apparently, even less remorse.  Pride is a sin, in and of itself, but America has now become so depraved, this society is actually proud of sin!  For those with any sense, a plan of survival, independent of the societal collapse would be wise.  Sustainability beats stockpiling.

Scripture tells us the love of money is the root of all evil, so promise of economic recovery has historically laid the foundation for many evil dictators and rulers.  Stockpiles can be stolen and or depleted.  Of course, something or someone can get in gardens and chicken houses too, but unless death and destruction is the goal, a plant would continue to produce and hens will lay more eggs.  Scripture tells us there is a day coming in which we will not be able to buy and sell, we must have a source of food that is outside of commerce.  Again, sustainability trumps stockpiling.

The truly sad thing about our instant gratification society, is that most people simply can not envision a goal; and sadly will not be able to foresee exhaustion of the supply, either.  With everything that is stockpiled, be it ammo, groceries, or freeze dried rations, it does not continue in perpetuity.  Our Creator's plan was for humanity to tend the garden and care for the animals.  Even in the the case of the ark and the flood, Scripture tells us Noah was a farmer, who built that ark according to specs to save every living species.  Messiah said the end of days would be "as in the days of Noah."  Noah was commanded to do some stockpiling, but as soon as the water receded, he planted . . . Stockpiling was only good until sustainability was once again possible.

As lazy as many are in this country, sustainability will not even be an inviting concept.  Guaranteed, when anarchy reigns, it won't be the seeds and garden implements anyone is after . . .but the stockpiles.  I would wager to guess, stockpiles may serve for barter and negotiation, but will not serve for long term sustainability.  Our Creator's plan is all that will truly provide and endure.  In the case of societal collapse and economic control, jobs will not be employment, but slavery.

And YHWH Elohim took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it. Genesis 2:15 . . . that if any would not work, neither should he eat.  II Timothy 3:10b  

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Just Do What Needs to Be Done

Nike originally coined the phrase, "Just Do It" for marketing their sports shoes, but here on the preservation, I have to assess the "needs to be" part of life before I "Just Do It."  This next step is monumental, therefore it cannot be "just done."  This homestead is to be of use through the time of tribulation.  I don't know that it will be used until the end, but I'm to put it in place to be used as Abba wills.  I've struggled with a strange thought for some years now, though, and I'm going to go ahead and write it.  Perhaps it will bring me some clarity, offer insight, or at least get it off my mind.

As I go about the chores and duties of running this homestead, my business, and the publishing, I have to have order.  There has to be a goal and a plan to recognize an accomplishment.  It has come to my attention, it's time to move in the direction of community.  Being ready and preparing are fine, but just waiting for people to invite themselves isn't the next step.  Now that the homestead is pretty much in place, it's time to start building the community.  I have no idea where to start, but there are some facts I have to face.  The first one has to do with my descendants, so I've of course wanted to keep the door open.  The next step is irrelevant to a door with my descendants here, because so far, none of them have shown any interest beyond visiting occasionally.  Only one has absolutely slammed the door shut, but the rest are still in search mode, which brings me to the next revelation.

There are young people, couples and families with a heart for this lifestyle.  There are middle-aged/50+ year old couples with a heart to minister, lifestyle not withstanding, and there are singles of all ages who truly desire fellowship.  It could be this place will be as eclectic as the trail blazer.  That would really sort of make sense now wouldn't it?  That way, at least, we wouldn't get caught up in dogmatic divisions of the physical details of the place.  I'm always up for ideas that would improve efficiency and various types of folks and circumstances would definitely broaden the potential outreach of our little community.

The last part of this readiness has been a bit hard to consider, but it is what it is.  I'm out here in the wilderness, establishing a place with a person who repeatedly tells me, he does not share this vision.  This statement has come, however; years after he agreed to allow me to keep this vision and vow unto YHWH, which I had made before we married anyway . . . and he knew that then, so I have found  myself asking some very hard questions.  Did I hear YHWH regarding this marriage?  The answer has continued to be a resounding "Yes."  So the next one has been tough.  Did YHWH call this marriage as some sort of chastisement or punishment for me?  With that question, my marital track record comes to mind as well as my last bout with mainstream health care . . . I do know, though, as in the case when David cried out, our Heavenly Father does extend mercy upon our repentance.

I've also considered, perhaps, as in the case of Moses, I'm only going to see the vision, but not get to participate in it.  Perhaps I will die in this wilderness without seeing the community come to life.  If that's the case, it's especially imperative that I extend some invitations soon, so the next generation has a place of refuge.  One more awesome thought came this morning as I contemplated this.  Joshua and Caleb did enter in and neither of them were spring chickens, but they had to wait for a time . . . They were the elders of the group that would enter in.  To the best of my spiritual understanding and mathematical skills, Joshua would have been right about 60 when the wilderness experience ended, and here I am, 57 years old.

Be strong and of a good courage: for unto this people shalt thou divide for an inheritance the land . . . Joshua 1:6a

Sunday, May 3, 2015

Be Fruitful and Multiply

As the gay agenda continues to gain momentum in this country by aggressively attacking small businesses and confusing children, I'll be sharing thoughts and observations.  Today the observation is simple.  We are looking at one more method of population control.  I realize for now there is surrogacy and adoption and it looks like a gay couple would probably receive preferential treatment through this system.  Now, let's consider the concept, that all this extra legislation potentially places the government in every bedroom across the country.

I saw an interview earlier today about China's "one child law," and how the population is no longer the issue, but the law remains in place to keep people living in fear and under government control.  Is there anyone in this country who doesn't think our government wants more control?

If gay marriage and gay partnerships are "mainstreamed" in our society, it will only bring more government control over all children.  Those words spoken over creation, "Be fruitful and multiply" have been "fightin' words" to the enemy throughout history.  The children have always been the spoils of war and the victims of war!  This spiritual battle continues to prove that.  The gay agenda doesn't realize it's just a temporary tool of an expanding government.  Elected officials, formerly known as public servants, are in place to expand power.  The blatant rebellion against the Word of YHWH and exaltation of national pride will bring judgment.

With gay marriage, mandatory vaccinations, and managed healthcare, don't think for a moment every registered birth in the nation won't be government controlled.  For the most part, they already are, but with surrogate mothers and adoption becoming a major part of being fruitful and multiplying, children will simply be wards of the state with an adult or a pair of adults "granted" custody.

Here on the preservation, I can tell you, all hens and no rooster means plenty of eggs, but no hatchlings.  With the goats, a buck will tear a fence down or practically kill himself jumping, to get to the does through the mating season.   Animals continue to procreate and repopulate because they have remained true to the way they were created, although legislation and regulation is attempting to weigh heavily on animals as well.

Marriage ruled by our government has placed the reproductive rights in the hands of the government, and those hands are about to become clenched fists.

And YHWH blessed them, and YHWH said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply . . . Genesis 1: 28