An Observation

In assessing net worth and earthly values, I've stumbled upon another correlation with Abraham and what he verbalized to Abba before either son was born.  I love my kids and grandkids, but the Land of Goshen is not really their heart, at least at this time.  That's not to say, things won't change, but at this time, it is what it is.  My mother tries to explain this plan without YHWH and just makes comments about being older and retiring to the country, but sadly she just doesn't have eyes to see.  To acknowledge the ministry and Torah lifestyle to which I'm called, would destroy her religious beliefs.  She doesn't have a great deal of influence over her grandchildren or great grandchildren, but each generation has very different priorities.  Sadly, while my parents now adhere to the mega-church prosperity ideals and my kids don't attend church or synagogue, they all separately share a view of the importance of money, and that I am out of touch . . .

Now that I'm finally recognizing my birthday for what it is, a milestone; that I hope marks the completion of an accomplished year that brought glory to YHWH.  Since the milestones are now reflective of digits that exceed the speed limit on many roads, I am considering the legacy of this homestead.  As I ponder the same question asked by Abraham, "What good are all these blessings if I have no heir?"  I am grateful for the blessings, of course, but I truly want to leave a legacy of real value, spiritual value.  Honestly, I want one of my kids or grandkids to take the helm of this ministry and value the importance of the things that are in place.  That may not be what Abba has in mind, and I may be shown Messiah's definition of "family" when the time of naming an heir takes place.  Messiah said family are those who do the will of our Heavenly Father.

As I'm aging I feel so blessed beyond measure and I truly want to share that with my descendants.  I don't know if that is in Abba's plan for me or not and that is not an easy realization in which to come.  I read of so many moms and grandmas who come to the truth even later than I did, who are now surrounded with a believing family and adoring grandchildren sharing the same walk and lifestyle.  I'm truly happy for them, but I always have that feeling in the back of my mind that's not in the plan for me.  I can't say I'm happy in that, but I have His peace and comfort in acceptance.  I have found myself very thankful that the battle for control was resolved a few years ago.

As I consider the question I asked after listening to one of my daughters and her husband discussing plan after plan for this place, I've taken a new inventory.  I interrupted their discussion to ask "Shouldn't you wait til I'm dead to be discussing all this?" I knew these people would not be part of the ministry, at least in their current state, and I also knew it was my responsibility to leave this in the hands of those who will minister.  Since that time of resolution, they have headed farther away from this direction, but I am still aware of the responsibility in which I've been entrusted.  A ministry isn't like a family business that just gets handed down to the next generation to make or break.  A ministry is a call.  I know my mother isn't right in her disregard of my call!  It is a privilege to have been given the second chance and the vitality to serve in this ministry and I know Abba will bring the one(s) into the picture who will carry on His purpose . . . or Messiah will return before the decision must be made.

For the gifts and calling of G-d are without repentance.  Romans 11:29