Thankful for What I Don't Have

It's an odd concept, I realize, but there are so many things I don't have; for which I am thankful. When I went into ministry nearly 20 years ago, and then was called to this specific lifestyle, I realized I was heading out of mainstream. I had no idea how far I'd gotten away from the plan of the G-d of Abraham.

I am continuously bombarded with requests and complaints of something someone thinks they need. That began years ago in another place. I have asked YHWH before about what I should give, what I should donate and what I should refuse to be a part of. I consider donations to also be an "investment." So when I'm approached with a need or want I ask YHWH and myself, what do I invest in the lives and needs of others that will bring them to the place our Creator has planned for them?

I learned in my last town, I am not to donate money to people who have enough money for entertainment. That may sound harsh, but that was what I was shown. Entertainment issues are two fold. 1. Entertainment is not a need and 2. If someone has time to watch TV, play videos, etc., then they have time for a lucrative hobby or a part time job. Living simply leaves me open to making very simple statements and kinder refusals.

I share seeds and I share food, and I share tons of information . . . I'm not a wealthy woman and for that I'm grateful. My bills are paid, all both of them . . . and all my needs are met along with many of my wants, but my desires are really not of this world, they just truly are not. I cannot imagine, that I would ever consider television programming or video games "quality time" with a partner or with kids. I'm thankful I don't have a television.

I'm thankful to have the knowledge I have, but I am also thankful that I don't have an impractical education for something I now don't believe in. I think it would have been more difficult to walk away from mainstream, if I felt more invested. I can process meat from the hoof to the freezer. I can can and preserve. I am blessed to have the knowledge to sew, knit and crochet, even if I don't do it a lot. I am thankful that I don't have to shop!

I'm thankful, for now, that I don't have a romantic interest. I think men are just wonderful, but for now I really need to focus on what I need to be doing as a handmaiden of YHWH. When I was rejected right after my last wedding, my feelings were pretty hurt and to be honest I didn't know why he didn't just stand me up at the altar, but that's been years ago, and I have so many more interests that truly do take my time and focus.

I'm thankful that the life I am living and my G-d I am serving is so full and so awesome that if I had any more it would be a burden . . . I think of the prayer in Proverbs 30.
Remove far from me vanity and lies: give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with food convenient for me: Lest I be full, and deny thee, and say, Who is YHWH? or lest I be poor, and steal, and take the name of my G-d in vain.