Cleaning House

When you've done all you can do. Even when you love someone or like someone, that's no guarantee they'll return the feelings. Sometimes life on the preservation just requires an overhaul and this week is it! I'm not a big fan of an official day to give thanks, as I feel pretty thankful and try to be grateful every day, so an annual Thursday isn't really my cup o' tea. Not to mention the whole immigration issue this country has been having for centuries now. Listening to so many white Americans griping about immigration doesn't really put those of us of Native descent in the mood to celebrate just how much immigrants do change the landscape of a nation. I can voice historically and sound very removed, but truth of the matter is, family gatherings make me tense, and for the most part always have. There were some fun gatherings at Grandpa and Grandma's, but we always had to leave early to make the "rounds" on the other side of the family and those were just always painfully awkward . . . I had a great time with my cousins at Grandpa and Grandma's. Those guys were the best, One of them passed away earlier this year, quite suddenly and by my estimation quite young, for death, anyway. Being thankful every day is much more appealing than setting aside a day to contemplate extreme emotions. A few years back I was what I will now refer to as emotionally blackmailed into having a dinner for company. The deal was, that particular year, Hanukkah and Christmas break overlapped. It only happens about every three or four years I think and the grandchildren and I had really been looking forward to this. We'd talked about 2008 for at least two years! Well the season began to roll around and I ended up making a big dinner for not only my grandchildren and daughter but my ex-son-in-law to boot and they were staying the entire week-end. Well, knowing the next month held such promise I reluctantly agreed to it. It was okay, I mean for once I wasn't getting yelled at or cussed out, so it was as pleasant a time as I remember with those of us who were in attendance. The real deal went sour the next month, however; when not only did I get gypped out of the deal, my grandkids only got to be here for two days of the entire vacation and it cost me a real argument to get that much time. Historically and personally "Thanksgiving Day" just isn't working for me. I've already celebrated the real harvest celebration of Sukkot, and even this year, breaking my arm the first day of the celebration trumped Thanksgiving Day memories. So, I'll remain thankful every day of the year for the many blessings I do have and Thursday, I'm going to do something that I will be grateful for, for months to come! I'm cleaning my pantry and laundry room! It may sound like a sad commentary or somber reality, but all things considered, it really will be of lasting value and enjoyable. I'm at the point in life, pretending we're something we're not just takes too much energy for the hypocrisy. A clean laundry room really is preferable to an annual day of tension and strife, and mountain of dishes.
Better is a dry morsel, and quietness therewith, than an house full of sacrifices with strife.