The Task of Preserving the Preservation

Reality is sinking in rather rapidly. I am surrounded by the beauty of nature and for that I'm truly grateful. The fact that I don't yet know who will follow to pick up this task, is an enigma I'm learning to live with. For years I believed that old saying about love and trust going hand in hand . . . well it doesn't. We can't always trust someone we love. As a matter of fact, it's completely possible and often easy to love someone we can't trust, but it's hard to like them! I think the most difficult part of realizing someone can't be trusted is the reality one has to face in the mirror. The reality that this was an obvious fact, long before we're willing to accept it or admit it. It's time to put failures and disappointments behind and move toward the mark of the high calling. I'm not really certain what all that entails, but I do know it involves looking ahead and moving forward and no longer looking back even in an attempt at reparation. Reconciliation is an act of G-d, according to the New Testament, so I'll trust that to HIM.
This week's Torah reading is about Abraham and today's reading was about his rescue of Lot, after Lot had chosen the lush and plush land that turned out to be not so friendly. It really had never soaked in and I've read this for years, but Lot first tagged along with Abraham after Abraham received the call, promise, and blessings of G-d. Then when it came to the land, Lot chose the best for himself, of course, but was taken captive from Sodom and Gomorrah. Abraham had to rescue him, only for Lot to return to Sodom and Gomorrah for a few more chapters . . .
I couldn't help but notice this morning that Lot had been given much, still rescued, and yet continued to return to a place that ultimately cost him everything! Sodom and Gomorrah is throughout Scripture a symbol of indulgence and self will. I just hadn't realized that Lot was rescued more than once from that place, and although everything he had, he'd received through Abraham's blessing, he still ultimately lost it all to to his own self service. Yet even as he left Sodom and Gomorrah for the final time with fire and brimstone falling, he still offered his own solution to G-d, but Scripture never mentions the paths of Lot and Abraham crossing again. In seeking to walk in covenant, I truly don't want to be always making suggestions to G-d, and there comes a time in which rescue simply cannot be humanly offered and accomplished. I also realized today that all this occurred before the manifestation of the spiritual promise to Abraham had come to pass.
And Abram said to the king of Sodom, I have lift up mine hand unto El Yon, the most high G-d, the possessor of heaven and earth, That I will not take from a thread even to a shoelatchet, and that I will not take any thing that is thine, lest thou shouldest say, I have made Abram rich: Torah of Holy Scripture

Learning . . . Admiration and Envy

I went to my Aunt's the other day for a visit. I had a wonderful time visiting with her and seeing my cousins. And, oh, what I learned. I'm sort of swaying between admiration and envy. Admiration because of what this woman has accomplished, tribally speaking and envy, because as much as I admire it, it's simply too late for me to experience what she has. I believe the Apostle Paul recommended that we envy the greater gifts and he said LOVE was the greatest, so I believe I'm spiritually sound to envy what she has with her family.
Her eldest son recently passed and his absence is very much still a tender void for everyone, myself included. It's funny how cousins can lose track of each other, only see each other at the "marryings and buryings" but when they cross each other's minds it brings a smile with the assumption that we'll see each other at the next gathering, but it's different now. We all got together and John wasn't there. I can only sadly imagine how many reminders they experience regularly because they are a close family. It's really awesome and something I have wanted since I can remember, but I wasn't the wise woman my Sweet Aunt Nina was and is.
I've now gained enough wisdom to know attempting what they have simply isn't possible for everyone . . . Sometimes wisdom comes by sadness, but to ignore the reality doesn't make something enjoyable, as I have learned. I do believe that G-d has brought me to this place to establish His definition of family and community and although it isn't going to happen the way I thought with the people I had in mind, it will be a family and community of His making.
Now, back to what I learned. I learned that my Sweet Aunt Nina has an amazing gift of meekness and I'm not talking weakness. She's a strong little woman in cowboy boots who has lived on her own for over 30 years and could probably kick some major butt, but she chooses to let folks just do their own thing and frequently appears to hold her comments. I admire the way she'll say, "We'll just have to agree to disagree," and that's the end of the topic. She means it and those listening understand that she means it.
I was greatly moved by her steadfast kindness and stoic strength. In catching up on family, I listened to the way she spoke of other's accomplishments and differences and her standard of accomplishment and wealth was not in comparison amongst the people, but rather applied uniquely to each of them. She spoke well of most people and if there wasn't a good report, it was spoken softly and sadly. She's already blessed to know her great granddaughter is being raised with the same family values she has instilled, and that is a priceless blessing. Even though, I didn't have the wisdom to be blessed as the matriarch that she is, I am blessed to see these values in at least one of my descendants.
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love G-d, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

An Undeniable Solution!

In living tribally according to Scripture, sometimes there are questions, but always reason to be grateful. I can't find anyone else talking about some of the issues I'm sorting, so there are situations in which it seems trial and error, at best.
This occurred recently over the situation of a calf. Last year, I messed up big time and killed the fatted calf under my own hopeful idea, rather than the leadership of the G-d of Abraham . . . and calamity ensued. The folks in which I shared this, were all excited and gave me money for a calf this year. Well, I accepted, still ignorant of my own misdeed, and the first notable sign that I'd missed something, was that this year's calf was higher priced, after I'd already quoted it. Now these folks were aware of that and even suggested that I just tell others about the increase, but they offered no more in compensation. No big deal, what's $10.00 among friends and loved ones . . . ? Besides, I am a woman of my word, and that was the price I quoted them, so I ate the $10.00. Then the big blow up occurred and I offered to reimburse the original investment, but the offer to stay in touch and return to process the meat was extended by one of the individuals involved. I put my check book away and simply stated, "We'll see what happens!" I've not heard anything from this individual since and that's been nearly two months ago, so with winter approaching, I began to wonder what should be done. Well this morning, early, I witnessed what should happen!
I'd really been struggling as to what the right thing to do, would be. Should I write a check for their cost and then sell the calf for what I can get? I mean it is on my land and it drank my goat's milk and ate my feed, and yata yata . . . Or should I sell it and send them the entire proceeds? Or should I welcome back yet more confusion for the processing of the meat? As I've sought the proper G-dly solution for this enigma, I awoke very early this morning with these people on my mind.
When I first awoke, I wasn't sure if I was seeing the flashing light of the internet modem or lightning. I went ahead and got up about 4 to seek YHWH in the early morning. I like those times. What ensued next was without question, undeniable. I received my answer for the business end of the calf, as well as the attempt at future fellowship over the killing of the fatted calf. And it is unmistakable! All in, all done! At approximately 4:30 this morning, the calf was struck by lightning. The calf died on my watch. I'll reimburse their initial investment, which is still less than my original output . . . nothing more, nothing less. The calf was left behind in their change of plans, so, possession is nine tenths of the law. As I sought to do the right thing according to the G-d of Abraham, HE answered my seeking. The calf was hit by lightning and died instantly. It was absolutely instant, no signs of struggle or pain. All things considered, $60.00 is a small price to pay to walk in the Abrahamic covenant, and the calf was going to die anyway! I am thankful . . . Certainly, with lightning involved, there is NO question as to Who handed down the decision!

Little Things Have Become Much!

Here's an update on the injured wing, and a report on my new internet store! Both are coming along nicely! I'm learning so much about so much, these days . . . I'm learning to be very careful in what I ask for, a number of words have more than one meaning. I'm learning that walking in peace is more important than the admiration of humans, but it's not an easy lesson. I never realized how much people truly admire confrontational humans. I just had no idea it was such a revered trait! I'm learning that to truly empty myself of expectations, is not easily done, but necessary for the task in which I'm called, and one thing I have learned that took a long time to learn is that sometimes we just have to accept that things are never going to be the way we want them to be. There's nothing to do to fix it and accepting it means acceptance just the way it is! The upside to this lesson is that circumstances and conversations no longer evoke a great deal of emotion. It's a rather flat matter of fact interaction! I mean, there isn't even a motivation to prolong or incite further interaction. Sort of one of those, "Received your correspondence," "Thanks for calling," "Kind Regards." There's no longer a need to even make a point. I had no idea this sort of serenity existed, and it's more satisfying than making a point, having the last word, or even a persuasive conversion by confrontation. I'm thinking right now, that serenity feels a lot like a void, and it may be, but I'm expecting a supernatural filling of this void. I'm typing like crazy with my arm still bandaged, but pretty functional. The tech that I called to help me set up some coupon codes for the internet store, actually told me I helped resolve an issue that he couldn't. So, that's awesome! My Granddaughter can now place orders from the store using a special code for her 100% discount and I've managed to be able to go international! I've got some great soap to unveil later this week and . . . and it's a big AND. Through the course of this injury, I have formulated and will be manufacturing a new product in natural pain management.
. . . and herb for the service of man . . . a Psalm of Holy Scripture

I Am YHWH That Heals Thee.

I've needed a break! I've cried out for a break! I've had a lot on my mind, a lot on my shoulders, and experienced quite a bit in the area of disappointment recently, and I simply wanted a break! Well, I got it, about 7:30 pm just as the sun was setting and Feast of Tabernacles was to begin. I had the last bucket of food for the night in hand, when I realized I couldn't reach the guardian dog's food dish over the fence. She and I had already had our quality time and she does not like to schmooze at meal time, as she is much to busy letting the herd know that is her dish and they are to remain a respectable 25 feet distance! I use a walking stick and usually have it with me at all times outdoors, but I didn't that particular time. As I headed back toward the house to get my stick to move the dish, IT happened. I still don't know what happened, but I found myself lying on the ground and heard my own voice yelling at the top of my lungs that I was hurt, my arm was HURT! All the yelling sort of jarred me back into reality and I realized I had to get myself up off the ground, finish chores and get into the house before I passed out from the pain. I got up! ~ Praise G-d and got to my stick, as the profuse perspiration broke out all over me . . . I moved the dish, dumped the bucket and prayed I would be able to get up the back steps. The summer flashed before my memory back to breaking my arm the first week of June. I simply cried out to G-d, that I didn't understand what I needed to do, what I needed to learn, but please oh please, I wanted to learn it, I wanted to do it, and I wanted to put the past behind me. What did I need to do? As I ascended the top step, kicked off my chore sandals and headed in, I aimed the fan at the chair I was going to sit in and heard the most simple statement. "Be a witness unto Me!" I had one of those, "is that You, Lord?" moments. It wasn't the usual sound I heard when hearing YHWH, but I knew the Scripture, I knew the Word, it was The Word, it was the voice of Y'hshuwah. And so I sat and listened further. I was instructed to call the neighbor and ask him to please come up, I had a problem. He did and when he walked in, he maintained a wonderfully compassionate "poker face" in which he later said, he could see I had pain written all over my face, he didn't want to make it worse. I asked him if it looked broken? He later described my arm as looking like a nylon stocking full of potatoes . . . Now, remember I've been posting answers to prayers and miraculous interventions in what some would consider seemingly small matters, but I've known this was moving and growing, although I didn't realize this would be a step in the direction! My friend and neighbor said he respected my beliefs regarding G-d healing with no doctor and no pharmaceuticals but he would give me a ride to the hospital if I wanted him to. I responded, I appreciated his respect for my faith in G-d, I'd simply have a glass of wine to ease the pain and asked him to please wrap it for me and I'd be better by morning. We talked, we even joked a bit, but even with ice, the pain was intense. He left and said to call him if I needed anything and otherwise he'd check on me in the morning. He called in the morning, I told him I was going to see how many of my chores I could accomplish then I would need some help re-wrapping as there was some swelling . . . I actually, by the power of G-d, did my chores one handed and when the bandage came off, it was clear that my arm was still damaged, but my friend spoke outright, "I would have never believed it would look so good!" I told HIM G-d created our bodies to be healthy and to mend. Then he added, the horrific potential details if I had opted for the hospital, and he's told others of this amazing circumstance. I heard Y'hshuwah say again, "a witness unto Me." This "event" has dramatically opened the door for my witness unto YHWH Raphah. The G-d of Israel truly is our healer.
But ye shall receive power, after that the Great Spirit is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth. words of Y'hshuwah